


Altea Wept

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Alien Biology, Bottom Lotor, Child Abuse, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, Fix It Fic, Galra OCs - Freeform, Galra are basically cats, Hurt Lotor, Hurt/Comfort, I hope y’all like C R Y I N G, Lotor has Daddy Issues, M/M, Matt is a nerd but so is Lotor, Mattor, Multi, abusive allura, adam isn’t dead, lotor has ptsd, mentions of abuse, no annoying time skip, the blades of marmora are fine just resting, voltron Fix it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lotor didn’t die in the rift, but a part of him wishes he did. The other paladins realized their mistake and are making it up to him, but Allura refuses to accept her wrongdoing. He was alone again as he had always been. Or he would be if not for Matt.(If you’re here for smut it starts in chapter 20)
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Matt Holt/Lotor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	1. Rift

It was over. No. It was almost over.

“Allura we need to go!”  
“If we stay any longer, voltron won’t be able to handle it!”

Their voices were distant and foggy, all Allura knew was rage. Laying in his dead ship was the prince who she’d trusted, who she’d caressed, who was altean like her. He lay in that doing what? Was he trying to restart it? Was he cursing her name? She didn’t want to save him, she wanted him to feel pain, she wanted to take him from the rift if only to make an example for those who would think to betray her.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t her who disobeyed her team to retrieve him. It was Lance.

“Quiznak Lance what are you doing!?” Demanded Pidge

“I know you guys won’t leave without him, so go ahead, I’ll get him back!”

“Lance just leave him! We need to leave!” Keith Shouted, voltron had been pulled apart by the red paladin’s desertion, they had to focus on getting control of their lions.

“Guys,” Hunk nearly sobbed, “we have to go!”

“I’m not leaving without Lance!” Keith snapped. “Allura! Allura come in you’re the closest, get him!”

She was still too shocked to move, but her lion jolted as Hunk set down on top of it, deploying the grabbing claws.

“I’m sorry princess, but I can’t let you.” He dragged her lion back, back out of the rift, back away from Lance and Lotor, and she was powerless to stop it.

On the other side of the rift, three paladins gasped at the change in atmosphere, after the magnificent horror of the quintessence field, they were stunned by the cold and heavy reality of a stable universe.

For a moment it was quiet, Hunk, Allura, and Pidge who followed them searching for any sign of their friends. When the Black and blue lions emerged, they looked damaged and battered, carrying an even more battered ship between them. Lotor’s ship.

“What the hell was that?! Lance?!” A symphony of rage a fear made its way to the boy. He was quiet for awhile before snapping back.

“I’ll explain on the ship! Just get back!”  
Allura finally came back to reality, jolting in her seat.

“Voltron, we need to go, there are rifts all around us we have to get away!”  
They seemed to understand the urgency, as they neared the castle Coran’s voice came back on their communicators, they hadn’t realized that it had cut out.

“Paladins, these rifts appear to be growing, I give it fifteen doboshes until this entire star system has been swallowed whole!”

“Is there any way to stop it?” Keith asked through gritted teeth.

“It needs a massive power source, something to fill them momentarily, just a tick is all we need for the space to heal, but we don’t have anything with that much power! We’d need an explosion of…”

“Coran?”  
“Coran what are you thinking?”

“We may… we may need to sacrifice the castle of lions.”

“What?! No! That’s our home, and -and our base! We can’t do that!” Hunk stammered

“We may have too,” Pidge interjected. “It’s the only thing powerful enough to keep the universe from tearing itself a new one.”

“But is it more powerful than voltron?” Lance asked.

“What are you talking about?” Allura asked.

“I’m just saying, Voltron is the most powerful weapon in the universe, and Lotor’s weapon is made of the same stuff…” his point dawned on his comrades

“Lance you stupid fucking genius that might work!” Pidge Shouted.

“I’ll get Lotor back to the castle,you guys figure out how to blow up this monstrosity.” He offered. The red lion clawed open the “head” of the ship, then opened her mouth to scoop up the disheveled prince. As the other paladins maneuvered the ship away and received orders from Coran, he watched as the galran stood up and stared at him.  
Something was wrong, very wrong.

“Lotor, sit down, we’ll deal with you at the castle,” he commanded, but he didn’t seem to hear. The prince lunged at him, knocking him off of his seat, and tried to bite at his neck. Lance fends him off with his bayard in the form of a sword, held across his body the keep the savage thing off of him.

There was no strategy, none of his battle training, nothing, he was just attacking with teeth and claws. Red opened the hatch behind the cockpit that led to the storage space and Lance taking the hint, kicked Lotor’s legs out from under him and sprinted back.

With a snarl the prince rushed after him into the dark, his alien eyes reflected light like a cat in the dark, searching for his enemy, but wheeled around when he heard the doors close. He was trapped inside, caterwauling and roaring.

Lance was right, the theory he had no time to share proven correct with each gruff growl. This isn’t Lotor, not the one they know. This was something sick.


	2. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Galra and Altean can be a bad mix

The other paladins were successful, the sincline was destroyed and the rifts were closed. The lions were damaged though, and Lotor was still pacing and growling in red. Lance waited nervously for the others to return, he should have been there with them, he should have been helping.

The green lion was the least damaged, so Pidge was able to help guide the others back inside. Once they were all safe in the castle’s docking bay, Keith emerged from his lion dragging Shiro, what was left of Shiro, out into the room.  
It wasn’t a pretty sight, their first leader broken and battered, and their second one looking more and more like the boy he was. It was strange to think that he, all of them but Shiro really were just that, children

Keith explained what happened to him, the cloning facility, Haggar’s spying, the spirit in the astral plane, everything. It was a surprise to them all when Allura reached out to Black. The cracks and folds in the metal glowed purple with quintessence and altean magic. They’ve stopped questioning the things that happened to them, all they knew was that there was a chance. The princess stepped back from the creature, glowing with sparks and cold fire that perhaps contained their leader’s soul.

Her hands on his forehead, the violet flame dances from her body to his. It flickered and simmered, leaving the man with grey hair but otherwise unchanged. Six seconds. For six terrifying seconds, he didn’t move, didn’t breathe, nothing. But then a gasp for air. Shiro bolted upright, but fell back into Keith’s waiting arms.

“Wait Shiro don’t move around so much you’re still injured,” the boy chided. The other paladins shuffles closer, relieved sighs, comforting words, even some tears from both of the black lion’s pilots. Together again. Whole again.  
—————————  
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Coran asked. “That was a nasty fight. And crash. And quintessence poisoning. And soul removal- I’m going to stop.”

Shiro coughed a dry laugh as the Altean helped him out of the healing pod.

“I’ll be fine, but we need to talk to Lotor. He’s been stewing in the red lion for two days and we still need to figure out what to do with him. 

“okay,” Coran resigned. “But remember, I’m here if you need me, I know things have been… worse lately.”

“Thanks, Coran.” He really did mean it, the redhead was the only one on the team who knew that Takashi could only stand so much. They walked together to the bay were the others were waiting. There their team stood around anxiously. 

“Hey guys,” The now grey haired man greeted.

“Shiro! Glad to see you’re okay!”  
“How was your nap?”  
“Hope you’re feeling better!”  
“Gotta admit you look pretty good with grey hair mr. silver fox!” Lance of course coated his concern in humor.

“I’m so glad that you’re all okay, and I’d love to talk longer, but we need to deal with… him.” The statement was true, and it cast a somber air through the room.

“Lance, tell him what you told us,” commanded Allura.

“Yeah,” the red paladin agreed. “So, Lotor isn’t, well, right. He sounds like a raccoon that got stuck in a dumpster. He keeps roaring and screaming, sometimes there’s words but they’re all slurred and violent. I think he’s sick.”

“I told you, he’s just like his father, the rift did to him what it did to Zarkon!” The princess growled.

“But didn’t Zarkon like, act like a person? I’m not trying to undermine you princess, but this feels different.”

“Hunk is right,” Pidge agreed. “Took some readings of the inside of the red lion and it doesn’t seem to have any abnormal quintessence levels, but there was a surge in alchechal magic.”

“Ehem, I think I know what it could be.” Unexpectedly, it came from Coran.  
“I can’t be sure until I see him, but Allura, don’t touch him.”

“Why?”

“Just… Well, there are things king Alfor didn’t want you to know about alchemy. I’m probably wrong, but just in case I’m right, trust me.”

The princess paused. “Okay, is everyone ready?”

With a nod from the room’s occupants, not including Coran and Shiro, Lance had blue unlock the doors. Out came Lotor.

To say the least, he was animalistic. Disheveled, filthy, even his armor was scuffed like he’d been scratching and chewing on it. The prince snarled a beastly sound and leapt at them. Allura begrudgingly obeyed her advisors wishes and stayed back.

“By Alfor’s beard, I was right! Magic poisoning!” He Shouted. “Paladins, can you lead him into the Med bay?”

“On it!” Grunted Pidge. She tossed the “rope” of her bayard across the room to Hunk. He picked up on the signal and held on as the girl ran around the Galra who was distracted by Keith, successfully wrapping it around his neck.  
He roared and clawed at his restraint, claws fully extended to be far longer and hooked than the others had seen before, and turned his gaze on Pidge.

“Oh quiznak. Guys, follow me!” She shouted as she ran as fast as her tiny legs would take her. Lance took the liberty of kicking Lotor’s feet out from under him, allowing her to drag him across the floor. His screams became choked as the glowing rope tightened around his neck, but still he futilely clawed and bit at anyone close to him.

He seemed not to notice the pain as he slid into every wall, and was almost unconscious from asphyxiation by the time they got him into the med bay. Coran had procured a set of handcuffs and handed them to Lance.

“Lance! I can’t touch him but since you’re human you’ll be fine!”

“Got it.” He took advantage of the prince’s momentary lack of consciousness to cuff him and shove him into a healing pod. He closed the door right as the Galran bolted back up. The group looked on in confusion and horror as this man, once a proud emperor and ally, clawed at the glass and spat what could once have been a sentence.

“You! Voltr-ga… I’ll kill you all-Alte-reea-“ his broken speech was cut off by a roar.

“Coran?” Allura asked.

“Ah I suppose I should explain.”  
——————————  
They decided to take a seat for the discussion, it would be a long one. Allura has the pod administer a small dose of a sedative, just enough to keep Lotor relatively calm. In a circle on the floor, they all looked to the oldest altean.

“Well, first I need to fill you earthlings in on a little altean biology, there are three types when it comes to magic: Quigga like me and Romelle have blue or green markings and no magical ability. Quikkal like Haggar and Lotor have red or purplish markings and weak magical ability. And then the Quillam like Alfor and Allura, while extremely rare, are born with light pink markings that turn blue over time and powerful magic.”

“What does this have to do with him?” Allura interrupted.

“I’m getting there!” Her advisor yelled. “Where was I? Yes, Quillam. Well, it was once believed that only the Quillam could perform alchemical feats, but around my grandfather’s time it was discovered that with enough training and exposure, Quikkal could too. Well, Alfor was an amazing alchemist, and he would stop at nothing to do great things for his research!

He thought that if Quikkal could be trained to use magic, the Quigga could too, I volunteered for the experiment of course. Imagine me, a magic user! He exposed me day after day for about a pheob, then he had me try some things. It worked at first, why once I even piloted the ship! But it started to change me. I started to get cold and angry and thought that everyone was trying to kill me for my magic.

I don’t remember what happened, but I’m told that I attacked one of his assistants and was screaming and threatening some odd things. I apparently told Alfor that I’d eat his rib cage. They drained me of the magic and shut down the experiment. They never tried it again.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, why would my father want to keep that from me?” Allura Demanded.

“Because He was afraid that you wouldn’t trust him anymore if you learned that he performed those types of experiments. Plus, he didn’t want to scare you away from your obvious gift of magic!” This took a moment to sink in. 

“Lotor is a Quikka though.”

“Yes, but his machine was infused with magic. It is possible that it reacted badly with the quintessence field and made it explode like a flying gorbtrate! Even a Quikka couldn’t stand that.” 

This explication seemed to stand, the team looked back at him, only now really noticing how his marking were glowing and bleeding from the edges. His eyes darted around and he panted like a dog. 

“Since he’s half Galra, and they also don’t take well to stress, it would explain why his reaction is even worse.” Keith reasoned. “Now how do we get his magic out?”

“Well, that’s the tricky bit,” Coran answered. “Even Alfor had to have another magic user to transfer it out of me and into something else, so we’ll need some help.”

“The Altean colony!” Pidge excitedly announced. Romelle gave me directions to the back exit Keith and his mom found, maybe we can use it to get in.”

“It’s worth a shot,” Shiro agreed. “Let’s check it out. Everyone get to their lions.” While Keith, Pidge, and Hunk made their way to their ships, Lance and Allura stayed behind, tense and uneasy.

“We… need to talk.” Allura stated.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Takashi inquired.  
“When we got back from the fight,” the princess started. “Blue was slow. After I got out I felt her leave. Not really but in my mind. I tried to go back to her yesterday and she wouldn’t let me.”

“Yeah,” Lance added. “Red locked me out too, and blue was calling to me again. But I can’t just go back to her, that’s Allura’s lion!”

Before Shiro could issue any advice, they heard laughter from the pod. Lotor was having an unexpected bout of semi-lucidity. Between gasps and barks he spat out words dripping with disgust.

“Haha!-You’re-*cough*-unworthy! Your lion knows- she knows you aren’t worthy after your betrayal!” He quickly descended into a fit of awful coughing, splattering phlegm and blue galran blood on the glass.

“Liar!” The princess Shouted defensively. “All you’ve done is lie!” In her rage she got to the control for his pod and pressed some buttons, administering some drug that tore a scream from her captive.

“Allura stop!” Shiro yelled. It was obvious that she wasn’t trying to treat him, she was only causing him pain and she knew it. He pulled her hand back with his remaining one and pulled her away from the controls. All he did was glare at her with that crushing disappointment that his friends feared more than any enemy fleet for her to understand. The altean reluctantly set the pod to sedate and heal the creature trapped inside.

As the machine hissed, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the man inside. She could hear his screaming and snarling slowing, then stopping. The three looked down in silence for a moment before their leader issued commands.

“Lance, take the blue lion. Allura, be ready to pilot the castle. We’ll talk about this later.” The two others exchanged a glance, but Lance soon slunk off the obey. The weight of what the princess did finally settled on her.


	3. Colony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new place a new disgrace

“I don’t know, it just isn’t working,” Keith grunted as he tried to turn on the black lion,” maybe Shiro’s soul did something to it.”

“Have you tried turning it off and back on again?” Hunk suggested.

“No hunk, It’s an interdimensional space lion, not a microwave.”

“Well, that’s all I’ve got.”

“Have you tried red?” Lance piped in.

“What do you mean?”

“The red lion,” he clarified. “Something happened, Blue kicked Allura out and wants me back, maybe red wants you back too.”

“If I’m in red, who’ll pilot Black?” Keith asked

“Shiro I guess,” Pidge answered.

“In case y’all forget, Shiro lost his Galra arm.” 

“Did you just say “y’all?” Hunk laughed. 

Pidge chimes in to break the tension by doing what the paladins did best, make fun of Keith. “So are you midwestern or gay?”

“Fine! I’ll try! I never wanted to be the black paladin anyway.” The boy indignantly stepped out of black and strode tentatively towards red. She growled in recognition. His relief was palpable, he could go back! He didn’t have to be the leader anymore! He actually smiled as his old lion knelt down to accept him. Lance would never admit to anyone how glad he was to see him doing so well. He took his time going over to blue though.

All the scenarios ran through his head. What if I’ve forgotten how to pilot her? What if she doesn’t even let me in? Maybe I’m not worthy of being a paladin. His thoughts were silenced though by the mental assurance of his old lion.

“Hey there hot stuff,” he flirted. “Look who came around! Did’ja miss me? Couldn’t live without your sexy sharpshooter?” 

“Lance, stop trying to bang your lion and let’s go!” Pidge yelled

“I’m not- Shut up! I’m coming!” The blue paladin snapped in embarrassment, it wasn’t his fault that he flirted when he was nervous.

“Guys,” hunk announced. “Are we leaving without Black?”

“No,” Keith stated. “I contacted Shiro, he’s on his way. As if on cue, the man sauntered into the docking bay.

“So, back to red huh?” He teased  
“Yup, that puts you in black.” Keith replied. It was nice, nostalgic even, to have them back at the beginning, each in their first lions. They set off towards the coordinates, slowly due to the black lions excruciatingly sluggish pace.

“Hey Shiro, I know you’re getting the hang of this again after getting your soul yeeted into the astral plane, but can you speed up a bit?” Pidge asked

“For your information Katie I have one. Arm. It’s a bit difficult piloting this thing with my leg.” He hissed. Ignoring his obvious frustration, Lance turned on the image projection because he had to see this. Sure enough, their leader had one leg on the control in place of a hand.

“Lance!”

“Oh my god this is awesome! Does anyone have a camera?”

With a growl Shiro turned off the video feed. The rest of the flight was mostly spent discussing the lion reassignment. That and mocking Keith’s “y’all.” When they arrived at the coordinates in the strange distorted space, Pidge ran some tests on the shimmering “doorway” before reporting back. 

“It’s stable, but it won’t be able to accommodate the lions. One of us needs to stay here and guard them.”

“I’ll do it,” Shiro volunteered. “If you guys run into trouble I won’t be much help in a fight.”

“Yeah but you won’t have backup if you’re out here alone, I’ll stay,” Keith insisted.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be fine, besides, they need their leader.”

Shiro couldn’t argue with that. “We’ll be back soon, when Allura calls, tell her to keep a look out for any ships that get close.” With that he and the others exited their lions, and stepped through the shimmering tear in space.  
—————————  
“Holy quiznak!” Lance mused in awe of their surroundings, “this is beautiful. You sure we’re in a rush Shiro? Maybe we could take a quick swim in that river.”

“Stay focused,” the black paladin reminded. “We need to find an altean with pink markings and anything that can prove or disprove Lotor’s crimes.” The team seemed apprehensive.

“You can’t possibly think he’s innocent,” Hunk chided, “I know you were technically dead while it was happening, but he said so really quiznaked up stuff while he was trying to kill us!”

“I don’t think he did it,” murmured lance apprehensively.

“Why?” Pidge questioned. “I thought you hated him.”

“Oh I do! I totally do! But I don’t know if he really did it. I mean, even when he went apeshit he still yelled about saving alteans, so why would he kill them?”

“Eh, good point,” Hunk conceded

“Stop!” Shiro barked as he threw out his arm to block them. Looking around him they saw a dip in the ground, a crash site.

“This must have been where Romelle’s brother crashed,” The girl theorized. “Let me run some samples, it might tell us something about the quintessence levels.” While she tinkered with her equipment the other paladins were looking out for any signs of the planet’s occupants, but none could be seen.

“Okay! Results are in aaannd….”

“What is it?”

“It’s normal, the quintessence levels suggest that Bandor hadn’t lost any, in fact, his levels were a bit over average.”

“Fine,” Hunk said. “So Bandor may have had regular quintessence levels, but we need more proof. Why was he scared? Why did he die?”

“Could it have had something to do with that?” Lance asked pointing upwards. For a moment they looked on confused, until a shadow loomed over them. It was a grey Galra made ship, but about a dozen armed altean soldiers came leaping out, guns drawn and pointing at their intruders.

“Who goes there?!” Barked a soldier who must have been their leader. “You aren’t altean, did Lotor send you?”

“No, Romelle did,” Shiro put calmly. The gun in the leader’s grip was turned down slightly.

“Romelle… you know where she is?” She asked.

“Yes, she came to us to warn us, and we need to warn you too, Lotor may have been harvesting Altean quintessence.” This seemed to anger the soldiers, but the woman spoke through gritted teeth. 

“What that girl saw wasn’t what she thought it was.”

“Oh yeah? Then what was it?!” Pidge growled.

“Look,” sighed the woman. “It’s clear that you are concerned for our safety so just come with us and we’ll show you the records. You might be interested in what we have.”  
—————————  
Keith was glad that Allura opened a hailing frequency not long after they others left. At first waiting alone in space was humbling and awe inspiring, but after months of it it was just boring.

“Keith,” she greeted.  
“Princess,” nodded Keith. “The others have gone through to the colony, the lions couldn’t fit in so I’m standing guard, how are you doing?”

“I’m alright, I just wish I could speak to Blue, why would she lock me out? What did I do to lose her trust?”

“Maybe she knows something we don’t, for now just focus on getting the castle’s systems back up and running.”

Blue did indeed know something they did not, more specifically what everyone but Allura did not. While she piloted her lion, Blue could feel her anger. It was a type of uncaring anger that none of the lions had felt for thousands of years. Not since Zarkon. Blue remembered what black had shared with her over their strange link, a painful memory of what happens when a paladin who thinks that way I’ll allowed their power. While Lotor was his father’s son, Allura was just like his father.

Their conversation was cut short by pidge’s voice over the communicator.

“Keith, you’re gonna want to see this.”


	4. Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trail wasn’t needed

Keith turned to see the rift, in front of it were his four friends and a woman in light armor carrying a small metal box. Their faces were painted with something unwell, anger? Shame maybe? They made their way to their own lions without speaking, whatever happened in that colony somehow silenced them. The woman went with Pidge in her lion, and the beasts rose back to life.

“Let’s get back to the castle,” Shiro commanded. “Then we can show Allura and Keith.”

The red paladin knew there would be no point in asking what it was by the man’s somber tone, but whatever it was, it was damning. They arrived in silence, exited their lions in silence, and walked down the hall in silence. 

Surprisingly, the one with the most unimaginable rage was Lance. The blue paladin stormed ahead of them into the ship’s main chamber to glare at the princess.

“He is innocent,” the boy spat.  
“Lance, what do you mea-“ Allura started  
“I mean he didn’t do shit! And you!” He turned on Romelle. “If you had just talked to literally anyone on the ship they could have told you that!” Pidge steppes forward with the woman, then started helping her to connect the box to the screen.

“He’s right,” she agreed deadpan. “Jalorai gave us the security footage.” The woman, Jalorai apparently, pressed a button and the footage buzzed to life on the screen.

It was the colony ship. There were rows upon rows of alteans in pods, dormant and still, then a flashing red light above about four. Something wrong with the machines, they spit out their occupants who gasped and coughed at the air that they weren’t ready to take in. One of them was Bandor, as he choked he looked around, then ran as seven people rushed towards them. It soon became clear that these were not guards, but medics and mechanics come to tend to the machines and passengers.

“It was a solar flare,” Jalorai started. “It got through our shields just enough to short circuit the pods. They are all equipped with a failsafe, and so the passengers were ejected, but they weren’t ready yet.” She turned to the princess, her expression was unreadable under her helmet, but her subdued anger was palpable.

“The pods were an old model, the type that dehydrates the users if they leave without the right protocols as obtaining newer ones would have alerted the Galra. Your brother was among the unfortunates, but he seemed to misunderstand the situation and ran before we could treat him. He stole an escape pod and by the time we found him it was too late. Prince Lotor told us to dispose of the evidence as he knew that even a single instance of failure may scare off other participants in the program, thus worsening our people’s chance at survival.”

Romelle butted in. 

“You expect me to believe that?! My brother has never lied!”

“And he didn’t, I do not doubt that he mistook the old tech for something sinister, but that does not change the facts.” Her damning evidence was enough to her up. It was clear to all of them what they had done. They had tortured, maddened, and nearly killed an innocent man. Now he was sick and alone in his pod.

“So… we were wrong.” Conceded Allura. Her head was hung so as not to meet the gaze of her friends. The guilt pooled in her belly, and she refused to let it sit there, she refused to accept that her wrongdoing was consequential. 

“Well we can’t change the past.” The princess growled. “We need to heal his magic poisoning, then we can get on with our work, do you know if any Quillam reside in the colony?”

“That I can help you with alone.” Jalorai removed her helmet to show dark magenta markings, it made it clear that she was not only a Quillam, but one with experience with small alchemical feats. 

“You’re-“   
“Stop,” she cut off. “I will do this to help my prince, not you. You clearly did nothing to so much as listen to him and because of this he is suffering. Do not talk to me unless you are instructing me on how to save him.”

No one argued. She was right.


	5. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor is woken up from his feral state

Lotor hadn’t changed much since they first put him in the healing pod, some of his smaller cuts were gone but besides that he looked awful. Coran stood as far to the side as he could while still reaching the panel, and on the other side was Hunk waiting with a rope tied to the end of a piece of pipe as a makeshift dog catcher pole.

“Now, when I open this pod he might be dangerous, but since his hands are already cuffed together it won’t be too bad. Once we get this rope thingy around his neck, we can start the process.” Coran informed.

“Do it,” Keith commanded. The door hissed as it opened and the battered man slipped out, falling to his knees before snapping to attention he hissed at the paladins but before he could lunge at them, the rope was choking him back.

“I got him! I got him!” Hunk crowed, but Lotor turned back at him and tried to claw at the pole with his bound hands.

“Now what?” Allura asked. Coran pulled up some notes on a handheld screen.

“According to Alfor’s notes, you and Jalorai will need to touch his facial markings and draw his magic out, then release it into the ship, so we need to pin him down.”

Shiro and Lance took that invitation by dragging him to the ground. Lance held his arms above his head while Takashi held down his chest.

The two Alteans did as they were bid, each touched one of his markings, and with their other hands they touched the ground to complete the magical circuit. Lotor roared as his markings glowed and thrashed even harder. They couldn’t imagine the pain he was in.

Allura could Now see how thin and slitted his pupils were, how his mouth was full of blood and how deep in those mad predator eyes, something was coming back. White and blue sparks flew from him, to the women, to the ground.

His thrashing and screaming slowed them stopped, leaving him gasping and coughing. When he opened his eyes, they were back to normal. All around him were his betrayers. Lance’s grip loosened, and the prince took that as an opportunity to rip his arms away to grab the pole.

He tore it from Hunk’s grasp and swung it at all those around him, striking hunk in the gut and sending the others leaping away.

“Lotor Stop! We’re not your enemies!” Allura yelled.

“Stay back!” The Galra Shouted as he backed towards the wall. His hands were shaking, his whole body was shaking. “Stay back! Stay back. What have you done to me?” His words were breathy and he felt that no matter how much he tried to take in air he couldn’t breath. It felt just like those times he’d awakened after horrid surgeries that the witch had conducted.

“We know, we- I made a mistake. I was wrong to attack you and Jalorai has explained everything to us.”

“Oh?! You think that solves this?! You betrayed me! You nearly killed me and left me like this and you expect me to trust you again!?” His wide eyes darted from one figure to another to devise his plan of escape. Everyone was here but Romelle, the galran female, and the animal. Held the pole up, ready to jab at anyone who came close.

“My prince,” Jalorai saluted.  
“General,” he tried to keep the wave of relief out of his voice, but just enough slipped through that his old friend could hear it. The trembling predator allowed her to step towards him.

“You need rest, I just helped with the procedure and even I’m drained.” Comforting words from her were all he could ask for, she lead him out of the room, but beckoned Shiro to follow her and show them to his room.

The whole time Lotor clutched the pole to his chest, as he shook and stumbled to his room. Upon arriving, it no longer felt right. This was a prison now, wasn’t it? He didn’t turn on the lights, he couldn’t have light right now. He sat on his bed and finally felt the pain of his injuries as his general spoke.

“I am so sorry that I could not save you from this,” she apologized.

“No, you have done all you could, I would rather be harmed then risk another Altean.”

“That does not excuse what has been done to you. Remember, my offer from thirty decaphoebs ago still stands, if you need time away from all… this, we would welcome you.”

“I-I can’t. Stabilizing the empire is too important, I can’t rest yet.” This reminded him.

“Black paladin, bring me a communicator, I must contact my empire.”

The man nodded and fished one out of his jacket pocket for him. Lotor struggled to use it, his hands shaking and too stressed to retract his claws, but he got ahold of someone. The face of Lieutenant Lahn appeared, his features a picture of shock. 

“M-my emperor! You’re alive?” He stammered.

“Does that not appear to be the case?” The unwell man snapped. “Why are you surprised?”

“Sir, it has been two pheobs since your disappearance, Sendak has nearly taken over.” That name make him feel nauseous. Sendak. His rival, his father’s favorite, the one who he was never as good as. 

“A weapons malfunction,” the white haired man lied. Shiro was both relieved and guilty. He lied. He lied to keep the paladins who hurt him safe.

“Have you turned against me as well?”

“No sire.”

“Good,” Lotor breathed. “Your loyalty will not go unrewarded. I will be on my way with Voltron to regroup, stay vigilant.”

“Vrepit Sa Emperor Lotor.”

“Vrepit sa.” With that the communication ended. He was silent and still for the next several seconds.

“General Jalorai, I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me.” He started. “If not for you I would still be an animal. But I must go to tend to my people, and you must do the same.”

“I understand, I hope to see you soon my lord.” With that the woman saluted, stood, and left to take a spare shuttle home, leaving him and Shiro alone. Lotor could not bury his longing for something to trust. He was too weak and tired to mask it.

“Black… Shiro, you are the only one here who has not betrayed me. The last solid memory I have is of your loyalty, and I would appreciate if you would remain with me until I can assign a new guard”

“Lotor I’m… I’m sorry, but the one who saved you wasn’t me. It was haggar’s clone. I have his memories but still, I’m not him.”

“Nonetheless,” He coughed to hide a sob that nearly broke through. “Your face is the only one that doesn’t fill me with dread. Giving me the bayard, bringing me to the Kral Zera, saving me, even though that wasn’t you I… I need an ally.” 

The black paladin understood completely, he was just hurt, alone, and afraid. What he needed wasn’t an ally, but a friend.

“Okay,” He smiled. “But when we get there, you better get your guys to make me a new arm!”

For the first time since his lucidity he laughed.

“A small price to pay paladin.”

The two talked for about an hour about strategy, planning and anything else that came to mind. The prince knew that it was ill advised to trust anyone, but it was the only thing keeping him from breaking into tears at the moment. He’d wait to do that until Shiro left.  
————————  
“What’s taking them so long?” Hunk groaned.

“I don’t know, maybe Lotor ate him.” Lance quipped.

“He probably tastes better than any of us,” Pidge added. 

“What? No! I’m 100% Cuban lean beef baby!”

“Guys, Stop,” commanded Keith. All of them looked up from their spots on the break room couch as their leader came in.

“How is he?” Allura asked tentatively. 

“Not great,” Shiro sighed. “Right now he looks sick and injured by I doubt he’ll let me take him to the pods again, but what’s worse is how he’s feeling. I can’t begin to imagine what he’s gone through and you definitely triggered something. He’s appointed me his guard because he says he wants an ally, but I really think he just needs someone to talk to.”

“But you’re not going to be able to stay with him all the time,” Pidge pointed out. “And he hates our guts right now, so what do we do about him when you need to pilot the black lion? I don’t think he’s going to just turn the other cheek and let us be alone with him.”

“That’s a good point. I’ve been thinking, we really should have done something for him sooner. We all know that he’s a bit messed up from, well, everything really. We should have helped take care of his mental health sooner, but now we need to start. I’m pretty sure he’ll be scared off if we make it obvious that we’re trying to take care of him, though.”

“We should pair him up with somebody!” Hunk suggested

“I’m listening,” Shiro urged on.

“Okay, he’s all sad and paranoid right? So he won’t trust anyone that powerful, but he also won’t trust anyone we just shove at him who’s obviously not supposed to be in a war zone. So, let’s find someone like a rebel or even a nice Galra guard who isn’t high in the ranks but good enough that we can say their his guard!”

“Good idea,” Keith praised.

“Damn, If Black Parade thinks it’s good then I’m in!” Lance joked

“It’s welcome to the bl-! Never mind, who do we pick?” No one had any suggestions, until Pidge reluctantly raised her hand.

“Uh, I hate to say it, but my brother might work, he’s a good fighter and tries to make friends with everyone.”

“That could actually work,” Lance realized aloud.

“Well damn,” Shiro mused. “We need to call Matt.”


	6. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The emperor is alone to lick his wounds

Lotor was trembling, he couldn’t stop trembling. The cold had seeped into his very bones and the meager blankets couldn’t keep it out. His allies had become his enemies, his room has become his cell, and his body has become a burden.

Nausea kept him curled in his bed, he’d already twice had to run to the attached bathroom to vomit, by now there was nothing left. It was like those times before meetings with his father when his body would ache and contort his stomach out of millennia of fear. 

Under layers of blankets he was able to give into weakness. The prince was certain there must be cameras in the room, but covered he crumbled. He tried to stifle the sound of his crying with a pillow, all he could hope was that they didn’t see him.

His galran instincts were growling in his mind, demanding that he clean himself, begging him to find a pack to hide with from what must be a predator. All those instinctive needs that he was denied since his childhood still battered him with indirect desire, and it burned. 

He didn’t know how long he was in that room, only that he hurt. Whatever the paladins has done to him left his muscles aching and his eyes stinging, his throat felt like it was full of cuts. After a few hours, he finally stopped shaking enough to make a slow walk to the bathroom to clean up.

He crawled into the shower and turned it on as hot as it would go to feel anything other than his own battered body. He sat as he didn’t trust himself not to fall on the tiles. For the first time in days he had taken his armor off, and it was caked with blood, his flight suit was ripped and stuck to it.

He scrubbed furiously to rid himself of the crusted blue that proved that his captors had made no rush to heal him. Why did he think they would? The prince sobbed again as he sped up, scratching himself raw and tearing scabs and dead skin, lines of violet hue and specks of blood all across his body.

It was an old habit. Whenever he was afraid he scratched at himself, but it hadn’t been this bad since his exile. The new cuts stung with soap, clumps of hair were pulled out as he tried to untangle it from the clumps of blood. It wasn’t long until he was on his side, laying under the spray unable to control his tears. He must have fallen asleep there.

When he awoke he felt some semblance of calm, so he turned off the comforting hot water and stepped tentatively out, drying himself on a green towel. He finally looked at himself in the mirror.

It was all Lotor could do not to growl at himself. Dark circles, scratches and cuts, bruises everywhere though mostly around his neck, and a claw half clipped off. There was nothing for him to dress in but the old altean clothes that came with the room’s closet, but he refused to be seen in them, so he got to work cleaning the inside of his armor.  
—————  
Lotor didn’t know how many days passed in that dark room, the only thing to alert him of passing time was the occasional visits by Shiro to brief him on their progress towards the Omega Shield Station, and trays of food left by the door.

Even now he had to admit that it was good. That yellow paladin must be trying to win him over again, because the meat was perfectly lean and well cooked. Today was different though, it was the blue paladin that came to brief him. The boy stood nervously in the doorway when Lotor opened the door just wide enough to see out of.

“You may enter,” the prince allowed coldly.  
——————

Lance had never seen Lotor like this before, at first he was afraid that the galran would be horribly angry and violent but he was just… sad. 

The prince stood with his back almost against the opposite wall, leaning against it next to him was the rope pole, it was the closest thing he had to a weapon.

“Speak,” he commanded.

“Right,” nodded the human boy. “We’ll be there in about seventeen Vargas, and Lahn hasn’t reported any real attacks, just some spies, but other than that is all cool. Also, since Shiro needs to pilot the black lion, we’re going to assign you a new personal guard.”

“Who?” Lotor Demanded, He tensed even more. Everything about the man was unwell, no longer healthy, no longer trusting.

“Um, uh, Matt. He’s Pidge’s brother, you know the green paladin?”

That was it, a spark of recognition in those weary albino eyes. Matt! He was the one that was with him in the hull of the ship. The ship they sent him to be killed by his father.

Matt didn’t do that though, on the ride he talked to him, the human was kind. He didn’t treat him like the monster he was made out to be, perhaps he could trust him now.

“Very well,” Lotor agreed. “You are dismissed.”

“Wait,” Lance mumbled, the boy turned back to him, the prince grabbed the pole in a single jerky motion, was this a threat? 

“I’m so sorry, for what we’ve done.”

Now the galran didn’t expect that. In all his years of working with those who hurt and tortured and betrayed him, no one had apologized.

“We had no proof, and no right to do that to you. I know that you won’t be able to trust us again, but, shit man we fucked up and are willing to do whatever it takes to at least be allies again.”

A pause as the wary man tried to pick apart the apology. A trick, it must be. Could it be real? Why would they apologize when they could simply kill him and be done with it?

“I can understand, if I believed that one of my underlings has committed such atrocities, I would have been angered as well. I would have organized a trial though.”

“I know, I just wanted you to know that… we don’t want you to be hurt anymore, and if there’s anything we can do to help you, just give us a call.” Lance crept out of the room bearing the shame of Voltron as he often did.

Lotor, alone again, but this time with something like vindication. If what the boy said was true, then he may still have friends in them. By the flames he had to believe him. He wept again, this time not over the paladins who understood their mistake, but over the one who caused it. Allura. 

She had kissed him, had shared a bed with him, had loved him, had found remnants of her home in him. But he wasn’t altean enough for her, and the purple of his skin was enough for her, no matter how she presented it, to despise him. Perhaps if he’d been brown or beige she would have taken a moment to speak with him over those allegations, but he was not. Purple, clawed, Galra. Perhaps she was incapable of putting her preconceptions aside long enough to reason. 

Perhaps it is because of that that she never really loved him at all


	7. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins face their victim

For the first time in days the prince was leaving his room. 

It was more difficult than it should be, everything about leaving felt overwhelming. The lights were too bright, the corridors too open, and Allura would be there. He had to fight off a wave of nausea at the thought of her, but nonetheless, he opened the door.

He looked better at least, some of the bruises on his neck remained and the broken claw as well, but other than that his injuries could be covered by his armor. He still has a cracked rib and general pain all over, but he wasn’t ready to go back to the pods. 

A long exhale, he stepped out. The prince squinted at the light but walked at a steady pace, he couldn’t afford to show weakness. Shiro has returned to bring him his sword earlier, and he touched the hilt to remind himself that it was there just in case. His hesitation at the doors of the bridge was uncharacteristically long, though only lasting a few seconds, he chided himself for it as he stepped through.

All eyes turned on him, the paladins looked on almost pitying, some looked down in recognition of their crime. Not Allura though, she stared straight at him, unrecognizing, unrepentant. Lotor was almost squirming in his armor, so he focused on the task at hand.

“What is our status?” He asked stepping up to the screens.

“A Varga away from the target, Lahn called. Apparently the Omega Shield needs more maintenance, that way it’ll be stronger for when Sendak attacks again.” Coran reported. It seems the tension eased when they mutually and silently agreed not to talk about what they’d done.

Reports and strategy. Easy. That’s what he’d been doing for thousands of years. 

Until he asked something he probably shouldn’t have.

“What happened to that Quigga? Has she left?” 

“She returned to your colony along with your general. Hopefully she’ll come back out when she realizes that there’s no need to get help from Galra.” Allura informed with a voice dripping with malice.

“Or perhaps she’ll stay as she’s aware that if not for one particular Galra, she and the rest of the altean would be dead.” He retorted. The others looked from one to the other as the building rage became louder.

“Guys-“ Hunk tried to stop the argument from getting out of hand but was cut off.

“I needed no help saving myself! Where were you then?”

“In my mother’s womb if I recall correctly!”

“Well luckily there was no need! My father protected me and I’ve done more to stop this war than you have in ten thousand years!”

“Is that so?” The Galra grew quiet and so did the room.

“Is that so? While you were napping in the most powerful weapon in the universe on the other side of existence, I was surviving. I did everything I could under my father’s thumb and saved solar systems from destruction. I fought, and bled and killed to stop the empire with nothing and no one. Now just because you woke from your rest in the only weapon that ever stood a chance in this war, you are some great savior? I suffered unspeakable torture to keep our people hidden and safe whilst you lay dead to the world since your father would rather see the universe die then you in armor.” He paused staring straight ahead, he didn’t look at her, he couldn’t.

“You’ve seen the scars on my back, what about that shows compliance?”

They sat in silence for a few minutes after his outburst. None of them had really seen things in that light before, at least they tried not to, but he was right.

Lance wasn’t sure what he hated more, the fact that Lotor was implying that he and Allura has sex, or the fact that if she was so unwilling to care for someone who loved and trusted her as much as Lotor did, then she wasn’t as kind as he thought she was. The only thing that let them put an end to their thoughts was a transmission, a purple face buzzed to life on the screen.

“Emperor Lotor.” That's right, he was the emperor. Had he really been thinking of himself as a prince? How is it so easy to lower himself, was he so ready to accept defeat?

“Lieutenant Lahn, report.”

“Sire, Several shield plates are malfunctioning, we will be able to guard against solar flares for the next two days, but we believe there is a spy. Someone has been tampering.”

“One of Sendak’s I presume.” The lieutenant nodded.

“He is the only abgonsa who would target a base with children.”

“Children… is there a bunker or other secure place for them and their families?”

“Yes sire.”

“Have then sent in, it’s possible that this is a trap, if that is the case I want no non combatants injured, galran or otherwise. I will be there shortly.

“Vrepit Sa.”

“Vrepit Sa.”

Something about having control in a political setting was comforting, a pleasant change from centuries of running from his own people.

“So, what does ‘agbonsa’ mean?” Asked Pidge likely out of boredom.

“Snakefucker.” Lotor answered. She, Lance and Hunk could not control their laughter. After unbearable shame and tension, hearing the Emperor of the Galra answer a question with ‘snakefucker’ just destroyed them. Even Keith and Shiro smiled. Coran did to, but stopped when Allura shot him a glare.

“Wait wait wait. Snakefucker? Really!? That’s just something he can say to you? And you let him?” Lance questioned between wheezing laughter.

“Well,” The Emperor began. “You’ve met Sendak.” This only served to send them into another bout. It was nice, being one of them. The humans were kind. They understood their mistake and were willing to apologize and become allies again.

Not Allura though. She still glared at him. She refused to believe that she was wrong, that Galra are Galra and nothing more. She had no proof that he’d done anything wrong but she knew he did. As much as she tried to hide it, she hated them. Hate was the altean way. She thought she loved him once but looking back she could feel this hate. When they fought side by side she defended only herself, when they kissed she had to stop herself from biting his tongue, when they made love she scratched and bit more violently then she should have. Her rage at those Galrans nine thousand years gone bled through to the man who loved her unconditionally.

How dare he act like he was one of them? She was the one who appointed the paladins. She was the one who piloted blue. She was the leader. Allura knew that she was just like her father and Lotor was just like his. Little did she know she was right in the most unsettling way.

In life, Zarkon was not so cruel. He loved his people, protected his allies, and cared about preserving life and freedom above all else. Alfor on the other hand was not so altruistic, and she was just like him.


	8. Regal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has to be the emperor today, but he can’t hide his injuries

When the castle ship arrived in view of the Omega shield, it was clear that it was in worse condition than they’d thought. It was, to put it nicely, an absolute shitshow.

The prince stepped confidently out of the blue lion where he had been transported and into the galran hangar. Most of the guards were droids, but a few live faces stood out. Some older and experienced warriors were stone faced, either silent in respect or disdain for their half breed emperor. The younger ones, privates and new engineers were brimming with excitement. It seemed odd to Lotor that anyone would look up to him as a leader, but perhaps the tale of his victory at the Kral Zera had made him a hero in the eyes of the young and innocent. Commander Bogh saluted his leader and his entourage. 

“Your highness, I thank you for your presence.” He saluted.

“And I suppose I should thank you for your loyalty,” The prince noted. “But pleasantries aside, it is best if we get down to business before we suffer any further losses.

“Agreed sire.” The pair set off to the command center, leaving the Paladins to accompany the maintenance workers on repairing the shield. It was often easy to forget that their enemies were more than military, but ahead of them was a reptile-like worker and a dark, long furred type guard having a whispered conversation. One of the first things the humans learned upon getting to space was that they could hear quiet sounds more accurately than other species, so it was no trouble listening in.

“Of course, I knew it, I knew that Lotor was perfect! He’s got all of Voltron at his back, now I’d like to see Sendak complain about blood purity and that káit. In all those years that rockback never got his own lion, but give a half breed a decopheob and he has them all!” The lizard type gushed. Keith was the first one to notice the galra’s digitigrade legs and red pupiled eyes. He was a half breed who could finally look up to someone like him in power to stand against those who’d see whatever wasn’t Galra as a weakness.

“Lotor this Lotor that,” mocked the other. “Are you hoping that if you praise him enough he’ll let you into his nest next heat?”

“I wish,” the lizard joked. “Have you seen his eyes? Say what you will about albinos, but blue is a good color.”

“Doesn’t his skin seem odd though? No fur at all but no scales either.”

“All the better for tasting.” The two stifled childish giggles as they shoved each other in what they must have thought was a subtle gesture. Lance knew that Lotor was hot but didn’t expect militant loyalists to talk so openly about it. The Lizard type scurried over to a wall and opened a panel.

“Green Paladin, our computer signals are being disrupted, we haven’t been able to find what is causing it but I believe it’s happening around here, so you think you’d be able to find it?”

“Hell Yeah bro.” Pidge set up her laptop and plugged it in. “So? What’s your deal? Engineer?”

“Yes, level two, I’m hoping to get promoted within the decapheob, won’t be hard with all these deserters.”

“Is it really that bad?” Shiro prodded. The lizard guy shrugged.

“Some cowards would rather bow to a false king then a half Galra one.”

“You’re a Hybrid right?” Keith inquired. “Uh, I don’t think I got your name.”

“Zorzak, and yes, half griularian.”

“Keith, half human.” It felt strange to be talking about the more familiar part of him as if it was alien, but here it was.”

“Human,” Zorzak mused. “I haven’t heard of those, are they resistance or empire?”

“They don’t know that aliens are real yet, once we get back they’ll probably freak out over Lotor.”

“He’s going with you huh? What’s it like working with him?”

“I’m not sure, he’s… professional? Pretty good at piloting.” 

“I’ve heard! Golgov was in one of the ships following him a few pheobs back, that right?” The dark furred galran turned to them.

“Yeah, the guy can fly. I barely made it back alive after he made me chase him through an ice field. Lost this though.” Golgov flexed the metal fingers on his left hand.   
“Actually I think I’m due for an upgrade.” He turned to Shiro   
“And by the looks of it you are too.” He joked.

“Man I almost forgot about that,” He realized out loud. “How good are the ones here?”

“Eh, not great, but since you’re an ally of the emperor you can probably get a good one.”

“Yeah,” Zorzak piped in uninvited. “I hear the low issue ones lock up sometimes, ain’t that right?”

“I told you that in confidence agbonsa,” hissed his friend. Knowing what that meant was powerful. Another soldier interrupted their unprofessional conversation.

“Paladins,” he addressed with a respectful nod. “Zorzak, Golgov” The names he practically spat.

“A rebel ship has docked, it’s a human, he claims to have been sent for by the green paladin, but his name matches some of our prison records, what are your orders?”

“That’s Matt!” Pidge yelped. Fixing an alien ship is fun, but messing with her brother was more fun by far. 

“You can send him to us, he’s with us.” Takashi stated. The guard saluted.

“Very well, he should be here shortly, Vrepit Sa.”

“Vrepit Sa!” Hunk laughed back, he was very proud to know what it meant. Once he was out of earshot, Lance asked a question.

“Man, he sounded pissed, what did you guys do?”

The reptilian hybrid and his bat like comrade laughed raucously.

“Great kàit what haven’t we done? Last time I think it was bringing those snakes into the armory, or was it when we braided his fur in his sleep?”

The two went on recalling their steady stream of bullshit that drove their captain half mad, lance couldn’t stop laughing. Great, now there’s three of them. It was good to know that the Galra had no shortages of dumbasses either. It didn’t take long for the captain to return with the tall figure.

“Matt!” Pidge called out.  
“Hey Pidge!” He grabbed her in an awkward sideways hug before turning to greet the other paladins. The exchange of greetings and news was a pleasant, more human interruption of an otherwise difficult and alien pheob. 

“Anyway, Shiro said something about guarding Lotor,” the boy reminded.

“Yeah,” Shiro agreed. “Let’s talk privately.”

“Ominous,” Matt commented as he and his old friend went somewhere away from listening ears. That place happened to be an unguarded armory, unguarded by soldiers at least, only two sentries. Shiro took a seat on a crate while Matthew leaned casually next to the door.

“So… Lotor.” Takashi started, how could he begin to explain.

“Pidge told me about the fight,” Matt offered. “And that he ain’t doing too well. Isn’t he still injured?”

“Yeah, but it’s not the physical problems I’m worried about. He’s jumpy, since I’ve started thinking about it, it's so obvious. He’s so used to being hurt, he had to kill his own father even though he was shitty, and now we’ve betrayed his trust. He trusts me a bit since I didn’t actively attack him and he doesn’t seem to hate the other paladins though.”

“What about Allura, didn’t they have a thing?”

Shiro nodded.

“I don’t think it was good, I mean, she threw him without a second thought and he didn’t even try to defend himself. How long has she been doing that to him? I don’t believe this was the first time she hurt him.”

“Oof.”

“And not just her, everyone. His parents obviously, plus his kingdom and his allies have fucked him up so badly and I don’t blame him for being jumpy.”

“That makes sense, can you imagine being raised by Zarkon?” 

“What I mean is, he has so many trust issues, but he also really needs a friend right now. It’s worse for Galra, when they’re alone too long they go crazy, it’s some evolutionary leftover. He already has it, there’s no way he doesn’t at this point, but I can’t just let him go on like this!”

“Oh my god, I’m on bro assignment?!” The dirty blonde laughed uncontrollably, he expected to be told he’d have to risk his life.

“He’ll trust you! I caught him looking at your status a few times, he’s still grateful that you were nice to him in the drop ship, what did you say to him anyway?”

“Honestly? I just talked about tech and showed him a video of a possum in a sweater.”

“Seriously? Anyway, we told him that you’d be his guard, I don’t think he knows that we’re trying to keep him sane. Would you be able to agree to that?”

“Takashi, my dude, my guy, my provolone slice. This sounds awesome. I just gotta hang out with king daddy issues and keep him from getting shot? Sounds great!”

“Oh you’re a lifesaver man.” Shiro hugged his old friend.

“Nice, now where is he? Lead the way Friend Pimp!”  
——————

Lahn couldn’t help noticing Lotor’s unfortunate state. As the emperor gave orders and darted from screen to screen checking and rechecking data, the lieutenant stared at him through the translucent data pad.

He saw things that the humans didn’t. Muscles too tense, fingers too shaky, hair damaged and unkempt, bloodshot eyes, claws that he seemed unable to sheath. If There was something anyone could tell you about the Galra, it was that they were proud. Anyone stepping outside without having spent an hour at least grooming themselves was either in pain or insane. He didn’t know which would be worse.

His armor didn’t hide all the bruises, his eyes darted too much. Even when he stared out the window at the shield’s excruciatingly slow repairs, he snapped at the air and made stressed clicking sounds. Lahn knew it wasn’t his place but he had to express his concern. 

“My Emperor, I must thank you for your assistance, but you seem to still be injured from the ... weapons malfunction.” Even the low ranking guards tensed at the words. “Weapons malfunction” was common code in the empire for “massive fuckup that we will not discuss.” It came from generations of officials who learned fast that Zarkon May show mercy if he thought that his subjects were developing weapons rather than making simple mistakes.

“I’ll be fine,” the emperor grunted. Technically true, at some point far in the future he would be fine. Before Lahn could protest further, two humans, the amputee and another human who was not a paladin. Lotor jumped momentarily, but physically relaxed when he saw who it was.

“Shiro, Matt, a pleasure to see you.”

“Hey what's up man, I’ve been assigned your new guard.”

“So I’ve been told, you’re welcome to join me here if you’d like, or stand with the other guards, I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

Takashi smiled, and left them to their own devices.

“Oh man, c-592 systems?”

“I know.”

“Once we get these plates back together we need to replace them.”

“I agree, we can not afford to risk innocent lives with such poorly made equipment.”

Matt pretended he couldn’t hear the high whispered “kàit, finally!” And “Yes!” From two engineers in front of them in that pitch that only humans could hear from this distance.

“So, how have he been? Besides the whole, weapons malfunction?”

Lotor froze momentarily before continuing his work.

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you sure are putting a lot of weight on your left leg. I’m assuming that’s not the only injury you have.” Matt was right, Lotor hated that he was so blunt in pointing out what was wrong, but the human wasn’t used to an unstable ruler like his officers were.

“What do you imply?”

“You need to go to the med bay, it looks like everyone else has this under control.” He pointed out the window were the black lion was just joining the others to manually put the plates back into place again. Lotor hesitated. He had to remind himself that this human, as unknown as he is, was the closest thing he had to a friend. 

“Very well. Lahn.”

“Yes sire?”

“You’ll remember that I promised that your loyalty would not go unrewarded. You will be promoted to Major, Bogh, You’ll take his previous title of first lieutenant.” With that the injured Galra took his leave.

“Th-Thank you sire!”  
“Vrepit Sa!” 

Matt scurried after him.

“That was nice, definitely enough to keep them on your side.”

“I should hope so,” The half breed joked. “If not I’ve just wasted two high ranks.” The human noticed the severity of his limp. Shiro told him that Lotor was hurt, but he never mentioned a limp. Had he really been so afraid that he hid it?

“You can walk slower you know.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re only gonna make it worse, here.” Matt tried to take his hand but the alien yanked it away as one would touching a hot stove or a biting animal. The blonde didn’t know why he reacted that way, Wait, oh yeah, probably the trauma.

“What are you doing?” The white haired male demanded.

“I’m trying to put your hand on my shoulder, come on, lean on me to take the weight off that leg.” Lotor looked at the boy, then back to the arm he’d snatched away. He was blushing, he hoped it was from embarrassment as he couldn’t afford another infatuation at the moment.

“I can walk just fine on my own.”

“Lotor.” He spoke like he was chiding a misbehaving child. “I’m your guard, that means my job is keeping you from dying, or getting hurt, even if you’re the one doing it. No one is judging you for doing the smart, correct thing.”

“Fine then” he sighed defeated. He placed a nervous hand on the human’s shoulder and was surprised at how sturdy he was. For such a little creature, his muscles were very dense, he’d have to study human biology. They made their way like that to the med bay. Lotor knew he was touch starved, but it wasn’t until he stood back up on his own that he realized how badly he wanted to go back.


	9. Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor doesn’t like Med bays

As Lotor sat on the examination table, he tried not to remember when he was young and being poked and prodded by Haggar’s druids. The scars on his fingertips from an old surgery, the sensation of swallowing pills or being stabbed with needles, it all brought him back to those horrible days.

He had to remove his armor for the doctor to look over him, the Emperor lingered on every snap and plate, the comforting weight and promise of protection gone. Well, Matt was right outside and he still has his sword leaning against the table, so some protection.

Most of the nurses huddled behind a divider looking over occasionally to try to catch a glance. Not only was the emperor himself there, but he was an interesting specimen. They knew that he was a hybrid, but only Zarkon’s top officials and scientists knew what his other half was. Only the head doctor was with him at the moment, but it didn’t stop their whispers of speculation.

“Emperor Lotor, I am doctor Mindray.” He was a purple and white shorthair with very bright yellow eyes, Lotor realized that such a normal thing has become alien to him in his time with the humans.

“May I?”

“Of course.” The Doctor took note of how the male flinched at the touch. He started unzipping his patient’s flight suit, the dark blue bruises showed in his skin like spilled ink. Choke marks. Mindrey wrote that down, it could have been a sign of abuse.

“You said it was a weapon’s malfunction,” He asked as he pulled the sleeve off of furless arm.

“I was in a damaged ship, as well as Altean magic poisoning. I was cured but I have no memory of what I did to myself during that time, about two days I believe”

To himself? The doctor took more notes, scratched up and bitten arms, a broken claw, various cuts and abrasions. Pulling the flight suit down, then fully off, he could see the full extent of the “weapons malfunction.” Burns, bruises, he was badly battered.

Lotor tried not to hiss at the touch when Mindrey felt his neck and chest. Several vertebrae out of line, cracked rib, ripped abdominal muscle, ligament damage. Every note bothered him, why was he still working? Is he alright in his head? The doctor knew to start with standard questions, but that was enough to answer him.

“How many others are in your pile?”

“None.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been a part of a pile?”

“About… About two pheobs I believe.”

That wasn’t good. Galras were meant to sleep in groups, normally just one or two nights alone would put someone on edge, but two pheobs?! The fact that he was still sane and rational amazed him. No wonder he was so unclean, his brain was in survival mode. He continued the questions.

“When was your last regular physical?”

“Two decapheobs ago.”

“When was your last heat or rut?”

“Rut, a pheob ago.”

Each answer showed that the emperor was in crisis, any other Galra would be half mad by now at least. The blood tests confirmed it, he was overflowing with panic hormones and there was little dopamine or serotonin anywhere to be found. 

Lotor could sense the pity from his doctor. He became very aware of his nudity, the air was too cold. He was back on the witch’s table again. The doctor could sense his panic, it was subtle, the male was good at hiding it but the fear was there.

“Your body is battered, but you’ll heal up right, but I am very concerned about your mind. You have not been getting proper social chemicals nor enough rest to keep you fully healthy.”

“I will rest soon, and I can remedy the lack of pack bonding once Sendak is defeated.”

“But sire.” The doctor had a trick up his sleeve, the fact that medical professionals were often capable of overruling orders to protect their commander. “That could be decaphoebs, and in that time your state will deteriorate until you are no longer thinking straight, let alone verbal.”

“Are you telling me to put aside my duties to rest?”

“Yes,” oh kàit, he’s going to be executed for this isn’t he. “You must think of your body and, more importantly, your mind”

The emperor paused to consider, the Mindrey and the prying nurses nervously awaiting his decision.

“Very well.”

“Thank you sire, my nurses will find a group for you to join, but for now, may we apply some medication?”

“What type? What’s in them?”

“Um, just some painkillers, and cellular regeneration accelerators.” That fear is coming from somewhere.  
“Also we may want to consider a brace for your leg, the ligaments in your thigh are very damaged, and even with the accelerators, it will be about four days until it’s fully healed.”

“Very well.”

Mindrey pointed to two nurses and beckoned them to come over, hurriedly they scurried to the prince. As was protocol, they re-examined the injuries in case the doctor had missed some. One of them, the female, hissed at the bruising on his neck. It was the type of injury they saw in survivors of abuse, had someone done such a heinous thing to their emperor?

Lotor flinched when the male touched a bruise on his face, and had to choke down a whine when the female started putting on the brace.

Nurses  
Druids

Mindrey  
Haggar

Emperor   
Child prince

Routine treatment   
Experiments

Both professionals paused when they saw his face, eerily still with slitted pupils. His claws were digging into the table, his upper lip pulled back in a half snarl.

“My emperor?” Mindrey’s voice seemed to snap him out of his trance. “If you do not trust our nurses, you are welcome to have your guard with you, many officials do so.”

“Yes!...yes,” he dialed back his relief, but having a familiar face here, something not Galra. The male nurse scampered to the door and opened it, there was some inaudible whispers, but in moments he was making his was back over with the human behind him. Lotor relaxes a bit, but Matt tensed up.

Lotor was naked! Like totally naked! He had to take in the things his armor would usually cover; toned abs, slightly darker stripes on his hips and thighs, four toed feet… did he not have genitals? Wait, no, he had a raised spot between his legs with a slit, they must retract like a horse or a dog.

“Hey man is everything good?”

“I’ve been hearing reports of spies on this base, I thought it best not to chance being alone and unarmored.” Well it wasn’t completely a lie. He just omitted the part about desperately wanting politive familiarity.

“Sounds good man,” Matthew leaned on the divider that the other nurses were peeking out behind and made small conversation while Lotor relaxed and allowed the nurses to apply salves, the brace, and administer the drugs.

“So what’s the deal with y’all? Is Lotor really in such bad shape?” Matt questioned.

“His body isn’t too bad, but his brain is in bad shape,” informed one with almost greenish scales.

“That bad huh?”

“That bad?! He’s been clanlessing for months!” Growled another

“What’s clanlessing?”

“An old response. We are built for packs, when we were still a young people in several clans, we needed it. Whenever the rest of a clan was killed, a clanlessing would get paranoid and angry to make up for losing them. We still have this trait.”

“Oh, huh.” That certainly wasn’t great. He was in worse shape than he thought.

“So are you his holder?” One tall plated one asked.

“Not sure what that is.”

“Oh you know, holder? Confidant? Knower?

Matt shook his head.  
“I think that’s another Galra thing.”

“Oh yeah it is. Well basically, everyone has one, a person who knows about their medical stuff and cycle who they’re near a lot in case something goes wrong and they need help.”

“A state mandated buddy system?”

“Buddy system?”

“Like when people are paired up to make sure that they get where they need to go safely?”

“Yeah like that. I checked his files, apparently his last holder was someone named Narti, deceased.”

“So I guess he doesn’t have one then.”

They watched as the nurses finished their work on him, and the doctor came up to finish the post treatment.

“Now I’m prescribing you some painkillers, you’ll need to take it easy on that leg as well as your abdominal muscles, and join a pile starting today. Now as for your holder…”

Lotor grit his teeth. The last one was his closest friend for years until he found that she was another puppet of the witch.

“I understand that the last one was, disloyal to say the least, but you will need another.”

“I will be fine keeping my own body in check.”

“My emperor, no one can face the universe alone. You are emperor now, you know that it is a high crime to turn against you, whomever you choose would be honored.”

Lotor because putting on his flight suit as he considered, struggling for a few seconds to get it over his brace. He didn’t want to make himself vulnerable to anyone, but he knew that the doctor was the one person on the ship with agency to detain him as he saw fit, and he didn’t seem to want to budge on this. Lotor sighed and finished putting on his armor.

“Matt, my guard.” He conceded. Mindrey nodded his approval and the female nurse handed the injured Galra a box of pills as he left. He looked up at the doctor.

“Matt,” He acknowledged. “Now that your the Emperor’s holder I must make it very clear that using any of this information against him is a high crime, and you will be disembodied if you betray his trust.”

“Well that’s a pretty good reason to not do that, but I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good.” Mindrey walked up to him and showed him a data pad strewn with medical records and notes.

“His current state is disturbing, I’ve never seen anyone be that isolated and still remain at all sane. His body isn’t too badly hurt but his injuries had worrying implications.”

“Oh?”

“His bruises match those of survivors of domestic crimes, I fear that someone close to him has been hurting him deliberately. You will need to be careful that he is not alone with him. Also, I am not certified in mental health services, but he is obviously in unbearable pain. I can not begin to imagine what it would be like to be exiled for three lifetimes by my own father, or what it’s like to have to kill him, and he’s plagued by other memories as well.”

“I thought so, he’s so jumpy.”

“I think it would be better if you kept an eye on him, don’t let him over exert himself.”

“I won’t, and I’ll make sure that whoever did that to him doesn’t get another chance.”


	10. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor lets himself be a part of a pack

Lotor was more nervous than he’d admit, It had been months since he last slept in a pile like he was supposed to. The last time had been before Narti betrayed him, after that he couldn’t trust the other generals enough to sleep on them, and he was right not to. The galra in the room he was offered weren’t quite so… intimidating though. Keith introduced them as Golgov and Zorzak. One was a scrawny mountain breed like Sendak, but the other was a hybrid like him. 

No, Like narti.

That tail and those legs, he was like her. Reptilian, fast, familiar. The two whispered excitedly to one another in a volume Matt claimed to understand. They looked more nervous than he was, these bright eyed recruits were just amazed to be his pilemates, let alone even meet the emperor. The mountain breed, Golgov, looked up, he was armored with the insignia of a low footsoldier.

“Oh k`a- Vrepit Sa!  
“Vrepit Sa my hi- your highness!” The one that looked like Narti, Zorzak, had an engineers insignia, low level as well.

“At ease, there’s no need for such formalities, you must be tired, I know I am.”

“Yeah! I mean, we practically have to rebuild the shields. I heard you might be permitting a systems upgrade, is that true?”

“Of course, we can’t have such old equipment, it’s a tragedy waiting to happen.”

“Finally! Ten thousand years of nothing but victory under the rockback and no concern for citizen bases. When I put in a request for upgrade priorities you know what Janka said? We were “Too diluted!” Seriously he’d have everyone on this planet die because we aren’t galra enough!”

“Again? You’re bringing up the Janka thing again?”

“Well I heard he got killed at the Kral zera! Is that true?”

Lotor snapped out of the shock at hearing his father referred to by that casual word for a plated breed enough to answer.   
“Yes, dropped down a ravine I believe.”

The others laughed uproariously at his death. He was well known for hating hybrids and tight budgets, even the new emperor had to smile at it. Matt hung back a few paces away, he didn’t want to interrupt the galran bonding session, it looked like his charge was happy to find others who wanted nothing more than to be free of bullshit. Golgov opened the door to their room.

Inside was pretty standard issue, four drawers for the occupant’s meager belongings, a table covered in parts of a droid the engineer was trying to fix, and a bed in the middle. It was large and round with a dip at the center like a cat bed. 

The two low ranking galra wasted no time going inside and getting ready to sleep, Lotor hung back for a moment.   
“Thank you for accompanying me Matt, I am grateful to have a loyal guard.”

“No problem, but hey,” The human looked up at him sympathetically. “I'm here for you when you need me, contact me anytime you need a guard or just to talk okay?”

It was a trap, it had to be a trap. Those eyes though, deep and brown, a rare trait in any species he knew, showed something good. He couldn’t trust anyone, not again, not so soon. But ka`it, this one could be different. 

“I will send for you if the need arises, I will see you when I wake.” The boy nodded and smiled before heading back to the others.

_____________

Lotor hesitated again taking off his armor. Was he really about to be part of a pile again? The others were already almost ready, stripped of their armor and flight suits. He wanted this though, to feel safe again. 

Nudity was not a private event for galrans, rather the default for whenever not in uniform and in a comfortable environment, this was certainly the case while sleeping. Fully uncovered, he waited for Zorzak to slip into the bed first. It was customary for the smallest to be on the bottom, and the hybrid was a head shorter than him while Gorgov was a head taller. The reptilian yawned as he got comfortable, shimmying until he was sprawled on his belly with his tail hanging off the edge.

Lotor went in after him. With the generals, it was Ezor under him and Acxa above him, it was odd getting comfortable on top of someone other than her. It was only once he was positioned with his chest over Zorzak’s side that flinched as the mountain breed settled over them. He didn’t feel crushed as he reminded himself that this was not an attack. It was simply right, it was natural. If either of them saw his bruises they didn’t say anything, and they made sure not to put too much weight on his injured leg or chest.

It was like being back on the ship in the late years of exile, when the pain his father gave him subsided and he just felt free. The instinct inside him that clawed at his brain and made his eyes dart was being crushed under the comfortable weight and he was being sent to sleep by the chemicals in his body celebrating his return to a clan. Under him, the hybrid was purring. Lotor wasn’t sure if he was able to purr yet, it was probably still another sensation poisoned by memories of being punished for relaxing, but hearing and feeling it felt nice. He was safe again, home again, somewhere right. Just for today, he would let his galra brain rest, just for today he would sleep the whole night. And sleep he did.


	11. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor sees old monsters in his dreams, but his guards see a new monster in his life

This night was kind, pilemates, deep sleep, and safety. Unfortunately, his dreams were not.

Lotor was a child, back in his father’s throne room. He had asked who his mother was, it was something he was not supposed to ask, so he paid for his mistake as he always did. In blood.

“Tell me what you are boy.” Zarkon growled.

“Galra,” the child sobbed. His father had his claws around his arm, digging them in ever so slightly.

“No, you are a half breed.” His claws dug further, the tips broke the skin and his son let out a strangled whine, he knew all too well that crying out would make it worse.

“You are not your mother’s blood.” He tugged. Rip.

“But you are not Galra.” He tugged again. Rip.

“You will not speak of this, nor will you think of it. Work on proving to me that I was not mistaken in letting you live.” With that the zombified emperor tossed his son to the ground. He sobbed and grabbed at his bleeding arm, looking to his Dayak. She stared back with sympathy that only she had ever shown him, but they both knew that it would be suicide to comfort him.

The only other person in the room was Haggar. As her emperor retreated to his throne, the witch slunk over to him and grabbed him by his injured arm, earning a cry from the child. He was dragged away crying and begging, she was going to “repair him.” Healing him with about as much care as she gave her prisoners and animals. The memory of needles and tests without so much as an offer of painkillers gave him just enough courage to chance an escape.

The corrupted altean yelped as the boy bit her hand with the sharp kitten teeth and attempted to scurry off to his room, but he was not faster than her magic. A bolt of something purple and wrong hit his ankle and sent him to the floor. Haggar grabbed his hair and dragged him.

“If that is how you act towards your superiors, then you will have to be retrained.” The child prince sobbed brokenly and clawed at her unnatural hands while guards and technicians looked on, all too afraid to stop the horrific things that were inflicted on the kitten. Her lab doors open and out wafted the smell of blood and fear and burning skin. Then Lotor woke up.

He was hyperventilating, pupils slitted and claws stabbing at the rounded mattress. It took him a moment to realize that the weight on him wasn’t his own body failing, but another galran. It wasn’t his father, it wasn’t the witch, it was just a soldier fully under his command. 

He had to run, bite, do something, but Golgov who was partially awoken, placed his flesh hand behind the prince’s ear as if comforting a kitten, and purred. It was a natural response for Galra when a clan mate was distressed. The purring was meant not only to comfort themselves, but others. 

It was something he was supposed to have had, to be able to do, but his father took that from him too, punishing him for doing it until he learned to fear the sensation in his throat. Dayak was not permitted to purr for him, nor any of the guards although they certainly wanted too, they certainly heard his cries. All Galra kittens were built to seek out protection, they are equipped with instincts to chirp and chirrup for attention or help until they are given it. Lotor stopped doing it too young when it was clear that no one was ever going to respond.

But sometimes he would do it in his sleep. Had he done it here? Would they remember and tell the other guards in the morning? It was only something that happened to adults when they were extremely distressed and in pain. He really shouldn’t be this used to doing it.

Whether or not they noticed, they helped. Both were asleep now, purring for their pilemate as their bodies reacted to the desperate cries of what must have been a suffering kitten. His humiliation was nothing compared to his comfort though. Lotor has to grit his teeth to keep himself from crying with relief. He forced his eyes shut long enough to sleep again, this time the rhythmic purrs drowned out his nightmares.  
—————

Luckily for all of them, Lotor’s pilemates either decided not to address it, or simply didn’t remember. 

“Another shift, same kàit,” grumbled Zorzak. “I hope the green paladin is as good with machines as she says.” He complained as he slithered to his drawer and began dressing in his standard black under suit.

“Oh she certainly is, in fact, she's the one who created the drone virus program.” The Emperor assured. He struggled again to get his flight suit over the brace, but it was easier now that he wasn’t hurrying out of a med bay. 

“That agbonsa! I almost died in an airlock after one of those released a virus in the ship!” Gorgov bellowed. He shoved his armor on quickly.

“What are you gonna do? Fight her? She’s on our side idiot!” Zorzak joked as he clipped the mouthpiece over his mouth, hiding his mocking smile. Gorgov growled. Lotor smiled at the two, it was nice waking up to normalcy. The galtean finished putting on his armor with a final snap of one of his boots, then stood tall putting his sword back in its place on its attachment.

“Thank you for allowing me to join your pile, I’ll be seeing you later,” he said as he stepped out of the room.

“Bye!”  
“Vrepit sa!”

As the door closed behind him, he sighed. Lotor wanted to go back to bed and drink in the warmth of his pilemates, but they all had work to do. He strode back to the bridge, his leg didn’t hurt as much as yesterday, but he took the small box from his pocket and swallowed a pill. He felt the effects almost immediately, the pain practically gone and his pupils just a little rounder. His momentary peace was interrupted by a familiar shout that made his blood run cold.

“What do you mean I’m not cleared? Let me in! I outrank all of you!” It was Allura, she was shouting at the four guards blocking her entrance to the bridge. Every one of them had the same look he’d seen on salesmen and traders dealing with particularly annoying customers, but they snapped to attention at the sight of him, saluting and ignoring their interloper.

“Vrepit Sa Emperor Lotor.” They barked In unison. The altean turned to him with a glare as he came towards them, he clenched his jaw for a moment in her gaze.

“What is going on here?” The Hybrid Demanded.

“Sire, the altean does not understand that she is not permitted into high level areas.”

“Lotor,” she snapped. “Tell them to stand down and get out of my way.” It was a tone that she used when there was no arguing. She used it when she wanted information, favors, sex, and backing in team decisions. He had never denied her a request when she got like this, not since the first time he told her that he had no ships to spare for a mission and she retaliated with a bruise on his cheek. 

“Lotor!” She Shouted again as she stomped closer. The way he flinched when she stepped towards him did not go unnoticed, the nurses’ observations of abuse had already spread like wildfire through the ranks. 

“It was you!” Roared a lanky river breed who yanked her back by the armor on her neck. The emperor instinctively rushed forward tear her from the guard’s grip, but she repaid him a kick to his already injured leg. 

“Took you long enough!” The princess spat. “Now get them out of my way!” 

Lotor has to steady his breathing after the flare up, even with the painkillers he could feel that. He wanted so badly to simply let her have her way so that she may come back to him with the softness she showed him after she calmed down. But no, he wasn’t overcome with as much desperation as before, a single night back in a safe place emboldened him.

“Go back to the castle princess.”

“What?! Galra you will obey my orders-“

“Maybe I have before by not now, not after what you did. I’m tired of turning over for you, it’s up to you now to give me a reason to trust you.” He stormed past her doing everything he could not to look back, the guards covering his back.

“Lotor!” She roared. “Lotor!” Allura ran at him only to be tackled and restrained by the first two Galra. As she hurled threats and insults, he paused with his hand on the door. The other times she was like this it only stopped when she had painted his body with strikes and he was screwing his eyes closed to prove that he wasn’t going to fight back. He waited for a punch but it didn’t come.

“Sire, shall we escort her to a cell?” It was the river breed, tall and lanky, he had to bend down to be eye level with his leader.   
“Sire?”

“Do what you will, but leave her unharmed.” The words from his own mouth cut him deep, but he felt lighter.

“Sending your soldiers to fight me? You are just like Zarkon!” The princess yelled knowing full well what that did to him. Every Galra knew what their relationship was like, everyone knew that only the worst type of person would exile their child, they knew as well as anyone what she was doing. They led her away to the prison, word of this would spread fast as well.

Lotor waited to calm himself down, his lips curled in a snarl at nothing. It took a second to get his breathing regular and to close his eyes to keep tears from spilling. The half breed stepped through the door holding himself tall. The room was silent save for the beeps and clicks of the old computers, they had heard everything.

“Sire,” greeted Lahn. “The shield is back up and running, the green paladin has installed new software to mostly automate the process.”

“Will it stand against a serious attack?” Lotor asked.

“Certainly, it’ll be able to stand against high powered beams for up to two vargas until it sustains real damage. Doubled since our last update.”

“Good, anything else to report?”

“No Sire,” The major concluded. The emperor looked back towards the door when he heard shuffling, it was Matt.

“Matt, good to see you,” he greeted. The human was smiling, but his brow was furrowed in concern.

“Hey man, could I talk to you? Like alone?”

Oh quiznak, what was it?

“Of course.” The blonde lead the way to the docking bay where the lions were parked. Keith waited with his arms crossed in front of red, he gave Lotor a worried look.

“You guys take as long as you need, I’m gonna go see if Pidge needs any help.” An obvious lie, but the other Hybrid didn’t want them to feel unwelcome. The galran nodded, then flowed his guard into the lion’s storage space. Matt sat down on a large box of parts, Lotor sat next to him, looking straight ahead so he didn’t have to keep seeing that pitying look.

“I need you to talk to me,” the human started. “I know that she’s been hurting you.”

“I can handle her myself,” The Emperor stated matter of factly.

“I’m your holder remember? Doctor Mindrey told me what was going on. Those bruises…”

“Are not of your concern!”

“But they are!” Matt calmed his tone.   
“I care about you, and what she’s doing is horrible. I heard that the guards took her to the prison.”

“I’ll have her released soon.”

“That’s the problem bro, you’re too chill about this. She was abusing you, I can’t just let her get away with that!”

Don’t cry. Don’t cry! The galra thought to himself.  
“She’s too valuable as an ally to make an enemy of her and besides, I love her.”

The human grabbed his hand before he could stand up.  
“I believe you, but she’s not good for you. If she cared she wouldn’t hurt you, you deserve better than that.”

The emperor who’d spent the better part of his life running, bleeding, and fighting just to survive, who killed and suffered to protect people who would never protect him, was for the first time in eons, given something like sympathy. He tried to squint back his tears but he could only do so much.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” He finally admitted. His guard hugged him unexpectedly, but after the initial shock the alien melted into it.

“Whatever it is, you don’t have to do it alone, I won’t leave you.”

“Oh you will.”

“I won’t.”

Lotor felt apart from his body while he wept into Matthew’s shoulder. He shouldn’t be doing this! He shouldn’t leave himself open! But stars he had too, he needed someone and someone came. They were short and a weird cream color and dressed like shit but they were here. He was always torn between finding comfort in the Galra or the alteans, but maybe he could give humans a shot.

“I won’t leave you.”


	12. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura gets a much needed reminder that she doesn’t have the right to hurt

No one will speak of this, no one will ever know. Stars this was a mistake, he had cried in the arms of his guard! What would his officials and soldiers think? Were there cameras in the lion? Had anyone else seen? 

It only took him seconds to panic over his own vulnerability, but he shouldn’t go yet. Matt remembered when he was at the garrison and his friends were struggling with stress and depression, it often helped to have someone there. Of course he wouldn’t tell his charge “Hey I’m gonna keep you here until I think you’re okay”. He’d get scared off, instead he said something along the lines of “you ever heard of memes?”

It was stupid, but it worked. They spent hours scrolling through Matthew’s phone, the one he’d recovered when he escaped the prison, at saved memes and pictures and videos. It was a nice change of pace just to laugh at pointless things and talk about like on earth. It was odd though, mentioning things that were normal to humans but completely alien to, well, an alien.

The emperor seemed to like images of Bae Bae, commenting on her similarities to something called a “yupper.” He liked possums too, there was nothing to compare them to, he just liked them. This was nice, the human couldn’t help loving his little comments, his thoughts and theories, his gorgeous laugh. 

He had to admit that the galran was pretty. That hair, those eyes, flawless skin, and a sharp mind. Sure he joked at the garrison about how he intended to fuck aliens, but damn…. 

By the time they were halfway into Matthew’s photos, Lotor was looking better, he had long stopped hyperventilating and his face wasn’t flushed anymore. He looked as well and regal as ever. But the unease crept into his features when the transmission request beeped onto his data pad. The emperor hesitated when he looked at it, it was Shiro. He opened it up.

“Lotor,” the man greeted.

“Shiro.”

“We need to handle this… Allura. Keith told me what happened, could you two come down to the prison?”

“I-I’ll be there in a moment,” Lotor stuttered. Shiro looked on sympathetically.

“Before you do, I just wanna let you know that you aren’t in the wrong here. I saw the footage. I’ll make sure she doesn’t go near you.”

He saw! Oh stars it was recorded! 

“I’ll be there in a moment,” he repeated before shutting off the transmission.

“Hey, don’t worry, we’re on your side,” the human comforted. The Galran stood quickly and made his way towards the exit.

“I know, thank you.”  
—————

The prison was mostly empty save for a few odd spies, enemy soldiers, and thieves. There was a single cell at the very end reserved for important prisoners, those known to escape, and those who needed to be questioned. In that cell was the Altean that he wanted to love.

The paladins stood around talking to each other. Two guards were looking over a data pad with Shiro and…. oh quiznak Doctor Mindrey. Why was he here? They all looked up at him, concern, sympathy, sorrow, and fear painted on their faces. Except for the princess who was stewing in anger.

Matt put his hand on the emperor’s arm to remind him that he was there, and the two took their place in the sort of semicircle.

“So… we need to address something a bit more than disturbing.” Takashi began. “It’s not going to be easy, but it needs to be done.” He sat down on the floor and the others followed suit. It felt strange but even the Galra in attendance sat. The hybrid was confused, but he sat as well, the only one still standing was the altean.

“So,” Shiro put bluntly. “We need to talk about Allura’s abuse.”

“What?!”  
“I know we had a fight but seriously?!  
“Lotor hurt her?”

The words of protest from Pidge, Lance and Hunk put him more on edge than he already was.

“No guys, Allura hit him.” Keith corrected. The energy wall must have been soundproof, she glared at the meeting but whatever she was saying was silenced by the obstruction. Horrified eyes gazed at her, then back to Lotor who was now nervously sharpening his claws against each other and trying to ignore the princess’ gaze.

“Oh my god, Lotor I’m so sorry,” Hunk tried to reach out. Pidge glared back at the woman with the same rage she felt when that bounty hunter nearly killed her brother, who now had a hand on his charge’s knee.

“Now we just need to talk about this so that hopefully we can move on,” the amputee gave a nod, and one of the guards reluctantly deactivated the barrier.

“what is the meaning of this? How dare you keep me locked in here!” The princess huffed.

“Allura, sit down,” Keith ordered.

“Not until he explains just was he was thinking!” At the implication of himself the hybrid tensed and dug his claws together further.

“Allura! Sit. Down.” Shiro reiterated. As she looked over the angry faces, she got the message and sat between Hunk and Shiro.

“Princess, we saw the footage of the attack.” At the leader’s words she tensed.

“Really?! Just because one time-“

“We found footage on the castle too, including the night before the ‘weapons malfunction.’”

“Nothing happened!”

“Well let’s see what ‘nothing looked like then, shall we?” The black paladin held up a data pad and played a video, security footage from inside the castle of lions. There was no sound, but it was crystal clear.

The two of them were in Allura’s quarters, he was getting dressed after a night with her. Just from the sex there was already blue marks on his back and a bruise on his thigh, possibly not something he agreed to. He tried to dress quietly, but the princess awoke. Looking over at him dressing, she said something, he said something back, and in moments she was putting on the robe on her bed stand.

Lotor was half dressed in his flight suit when he looked back just in time for a slap to connect with his jaw. At the image the emperor looked away, this didn’t go unnoticed by the paladins or guards, one of whom, the lanky river breed, had started growling.

The video went on, it showed her going on, a punch to the stomach, a kick to the leg. Finally she dragged his face to hers, holding him by his neck as he grabbed at her hand. He could escape if he wanted too, but he was more afraid of her then of choking. When the footage cut off, they played another one, one of him on the bridge.

This time it showed her stepping to him with rage at something that happened in battle. The, at the time, prince tried to reach out to her with a wary hand, but he was again grabbed by his throat and thrown to the ground.

Another one, he didn’t remember this one. He was in a healing pod trying to claw at the glass with bound hands and the princess stood in front of it yelling at him. Oh, it was while he had magic poisoning. She hit a button on the pod and he screamed in agony. When the videos ended everyone glared at her with cold hatred, yet still she refused to admit fault.

“I barely touched him, he’s galra, he can take it!” Doctor Mindrey snarled at her for silence, and began reading off his notes.

“Severe bruising around the neck.” He started.

“That was barely-“

“Ligament damage in the upper thigh,” he interrupted. She stared daggers at him as he continued listening. “Torn abdominal muscle, broken rib, missing molar, overactive panic response.” For his final statement he stared right back into her eyes.  
“Extreme stress induced self harm.”

All eyes were on Lotor now, picking and sharpening his claws nervously, he just now realized that his hands were bleeding. Matt grabbed one and tried to clean off the blue blood with a pit of cloth torn off of his already torn cloak. 

“I am so sorry,” Lance sobbed, they hadn’t noticed him start crying. “I heard a noise coming from her room I-I should have done something!”

“It was for the best that you stayed out of it, there are more important things to worry about.” The emperor insisted. Stars it was so hard not to cry. Just hit him! Yell at him! Anything just don’t try to be kind! Confrontation he could handle but healing was hard. This time the blue paladin addressed Allura.

“I cared about you so much. I thought I loved you, but you’re obviously not able to handle love. You hurt Lotor and he’s like, perfect, It’s not his fault that you hate Galra, and you really shouldn’t. I don’t know if we can trust you.” That seemed to resonate with the other paladins, and she finally changed her tone.

“I know that what I did was frowned upon, and I’m sorry if I caused him more pain than he can handle, but this is a war, and like he said, there are more imp-“

“What’s more important?! Snapped Pidge. “You treated our greatest ally, your boyfriend, like a punching bag and you expect us to? What? Ignore it? On earth that would have gotten you arrested!”

“And In the empire it will get you killed,” snarled a guard. “The whole base is already calling for her head.”

“You can’t do this to me! I am the princess of Al-“

“You’re The princess of nothing!” Lotor interrupted. “Altea is gone and so is your authority. Your father may have destroyed the coup but even your own people didn’t want your family on the throne!”

“What are you talking about half breed?”

“I know that your father hid you in the castle with his loyalists to keep you safe, but outside that perimeter Altea was on the brink of revolution. What did you think Voltron was made for? Why did you think you weren’t allowed to interact with “low born people” as your father would say? He didn’t want you to know that you weren’t welcome on your homeworld. Now who do you rule? It wasn’t them, and now even they’re gone.”

“Shut up!”

“Oh? Does this make you sad? Does this hurt? All I’m doing is speaking a truth that Alfor never did to make it abundantly clear that whatever power you think you have that gives you the right to do that to me was never yours to begin with!” His tone grew colder. “I never fought back, not because you were powerful, but because I loved you. But not anymore, I was a fool to stay as long as I did.” He gritted his teeth and she stared daggers, but it seemed there was little else to say.

“Sire, what should we do with her? Shall we execute her here?” The taller guard asked.

“No! No. She is still a valuable ally, just escort her back to the docking bay, have someone bring her back to the castlez Do not allow her back on the base.” Shiro gave a nod of agreement.

“Lance, could you with her to the castle to explain to Coran and Krolia what happened?”

“My pleasure,” Lance’s sarcasm struck the prisoner. She realized for the first time that she was not in power, her people didn’t want her family, the paladins didn’t want her leadership, and her boyfriend didn’t want her. Ex boyfriend now. 

“Be grateful the blood emperor is protecting you, had it been up to me your ribs would be broken out of your back.” The tall guard hissed into her ear, she didn’t doubt that. As she was marched away, Lotor had to stifle a chirp in his throat, making a strangled hiss in its place. Pidge was the first to approach him, since he was sitting, she was able to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Lotor, I’m sorry that we didn’t do this sooner, I’ll make sure she doesn’t get to be alone with you.”

“Yeah, We’ve got your back,” added Keith.

“Just remember we’re here for you,” Hunk offered. By that point everyone but doctor Mindrey and his escorting guard was around him either hugging him or other close. He couldn’t help letting a single tear fall. Matt wished he could take this pain from him.

He didn’t feel better, but he didn’t feel worse. Just a bit warmer.


	13. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blades aren’t dead

Lotor, Matt, and the paladins were leaving the prison, stars, Lotor wanted this to be over. He had quickly wiped the tear away before he thought anyone saw, but he didn’t want to see anyone, he just wanted to get back to work. They were so close to leaving, but a prisoner started banging on his door.

“Keith! Keith it's me!” The unknown person Shouted. The red paladin shot to attention and nearly shuddered.

“Holy shit, Regris!” The human ran to the cell and yelled at a guard. “Open the door! Open the door!”

The guard looked to Lotor for confirmation, and with a nod from the emperor he punched in the code. The door barely opened when a desert breed hybrid flung himself as hard as he could at Keith, both laughing at the unimaginable joy.

“Agbonsa I thought you were dead!”

“I thought you were dead! Why the fuck didn’t you run? And how did you survive?”

“I needed to finish the mission, and I don’t know how I survived but it was like this sheet of energy webbing grabbed me right before the explosion got me!”

“The K-221 protocol,” Lotor interjected. “A fairly new failsafe meant to protect soldiers when the ships are destroyed, an energy field temporarily wraps itself around life forms for up to a varga.”

“Wait! Does that mean the others could still be alive?” Regris yelped.

“Holy shit yeah! Thace and Ulaz and Antok! Lotor, could we check your prisoner records?” Keith requested.

“Certainly, I’ll see you to the bridge. As long as you have their names it won’t be difficult to find out if we’ve acquired them.”

Shiro held out his remaining hand to the freed prisoner.  
“Hey. Name’s Shiro, Keith told me a lot about you.” The galran didn’t really know what a handshake is, so he grabbed the arm.

“And he told me about you, but already knew who you were! Champion! 77 consecutive wins!” The gushing praise turned his blood cold.

“You… saw?” 

“Of course! Even our bases get access to the broadcasts, I’ve never seen such durability from a non Galra! Really you should have simply announced that the champion had Voltron and every imperial would have surrendered!” The Galra joked and wagged his spiked tail, but tilted his head when he noticed the amputee’s uneasy look.

“Did I.. say something wrong?”

“No you didn’t do anything wrong, I just try not to think about what happened in the ring.”

“I understand, but if it’s any comfort, you were a hero of the people.” At this Takashi looked unsure, but was certainly listening.

“What do you mean? All I did was kill!” Keith noticed his panic rising and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, yes, but you were merciful. Before you all the champions would draw out the deaths, but not only were you the first non Galra to hold the title for so long, you were the first to give the losers peace. I’m glad it was you, and I’m glad that you got out, but what you think you did wasn’t worse than what you prevented.” 

Regris had the odd ability to occasionally break through his steady stream of fuckery to say something profound, he was a lot like lance that way, maybe it was why Keith liked him so much.

“Oh, well... thanks.” It was certainly something to think about, it wasn’t enough to lift the weight off his shoulders but something felt a bit lighter. As the group walked they were all bristling with unease. Things would be different from them on with Allura, Lotor was not used to being cared for, and Keith kept wondering if it was really his friend’s similarity to Lance that made him like him so much.

While Pidge and Hunk broke off to keep working on minor repairs, Shiro, Matt and the Galra hybrids set off towards the command deck. It was nice, being together, all of them suffering from something but no longer in silence. Since Regris had been kept alone he was clanlessing, but it wasn’t as bad as Lotor’s was, he was just really clingy, hanging on Keith and Shiro.

The others walked into the command center, but the emperor lingered a moment on that spot where only hours ago his ex had attacked him for what was hopefully the last time. He didn’t longer too long though, he was vulnerable enough. The Major and his underlings were startled by the appearance of a hybrid in prison uniform clinging to the red paladin, but since their leader brought him it must be fine.

“Lahn.”

“Yes, My emperor.”

“Have your people access all known records of three former rebels, Thace, Ulaz, and Antok.”

“Yes sire.” The command center buzzed to life, with everyone searching their records, it took less time than they had thought. A young plated breed reported.

“Your majesty, Ulaz, purebred field breed, is alive in a nearby prison ship. Under imperial control.”

“Thace, forest-mountain mix, status unknown in a prison on Klagha. Under imperial control.” Added another.

“Antok, forest-river mix, alive on… Sendak’s flagship.” While elated that his lost allies were likely going to be okay, Keith felt his hopes of saving them all dashed at the mention of Antok’s prison. Everyone knew the implications. Lotor, raised to act quick, did exactly that.

“Lahn, hail the ship and the prison, order them to send the prisoners to us unharmed, and with their medical needs cared for.” He turned to his allies. “Sendak’s prisoners always go straight to the gladiator pits, so if we are to save him, we must do so soon.”

“Well aren’t we?” Matt asked.

“I leave that decision to you Keith, you know him better than I do.” 

“Of course we’re saving him!” Insisted Regris. “If we have any opportunity we must take it!”

“He’s right,” Keith agreed. “I thought I’d lost him once, I’m not doing that again.”

“Very well, it will need to be a stealth operation, do you think you could contact the Blades of Marmora?”

“Of course, may I?” Lotor gestured to a control manned by a single Galra who stepped to the side, the human hybrid started punching in the coordinates to a hidden contact center disguised as a trader ship. A face buzzed onto the screen, a female desert breed with grayish scales looked apprehensive at first, but then concerned.

“Hey Fiet”

“Keith! What are you doing on an empire base?”

“It’s fine, I’m in voltron, Lotor is voltron’s ally, and Lotor controls this base. They’re friends.”

“Yeah well when your friends turn on you they now have my face and coordinates!” Fiet growled.

“Look, patch me through to Kolivan, I have important information.”

“Important enough to betray our location?”

“Yes! Put me through!”

“Fine! He’s with me! Kolivan!” She yelled at a door behind her and in a few moments the mountain breed commander trudged into the room, possibly a little drunk.

“Keith! You’re alive?”

“Yeah, my mother too, thanks for telling me all that riveting, life altering information you clearly had!” Kolivan grunted, recognizing that maybe waiting that long to let him know who his mother was was a bad idea.

“We can talk about that later, why did you contact us from an empire base?” With that Regris jumped behind the half human.

“Hello!” With that their commander’s eyes lit up.

“Regris!”

“And he’s not the only one. Ulaz is on his way from a prison ship, Thace…” he looked back over the workers.

“Confirmed alive, on his way.”

“Good, Thace is on his way too, and Antok is alive as well, but that’s where the problem is. He’s on Sendak’s ship. We need to rescue him.”

Kolivan looked afraid, this was a choice he never wanted to make. It was protocol never to risk discovery for those that have already pledged their lives, but he couldn’t… he had lost his friends and his mate once already.  
“I’m on my way, we’ll speak when I arrive, I’ll be there in four vargas.”

“You’re that close?”

“It will not take long,” the male fumbled with the controls with unsteady drunk hands, the transmission ended.

“I can spare a few ships if you’d like,” Lotor offered.

“No,” Regris turned down. “It needs to be a stealth mission. In and out.”

“Which is exactly why you need a ship. Since you and your allies are Galra and already trained in covert operations, you can pass as delivery or soldiers until you get on the ship.” The Emperor strategized.

“Yeah,” Shiro added. “And once you’re on Voltron could throw a few punches to distract them for a bit.”

“Sounds good, once we get everyone together we can start.” The human hybrid turned back to the last Galra that spoke.   
“How long will it be before Ulaz and Thace get here?”

“Thace will be here in about nineteen vargas, Ulaz is… He’s almost here, the ship was very close.” He pointed through the window to where an approaching ship was visible. It looked like a standard Galra flagship, but surrounded by several guard cruisers. Once of the cruisers was sent forward.  
——————

By now everyone was back together, Lance had returned from the castle, Pidge and Hunk had finished their repairs, and the Galra and Shiro had come down. They were all in the docking bay when the cruiser set down.

“Man, we shoulda had a ‘congrats on not being exploded cake,’” Lance quipped

“I could have baked one! Aww man.” Hunk lamented. The ramp lowered and doors parted to reveal the field breed. He was dirty, tired and dressed in bandages and the same prison uniform as Regris, but he was alive. He tentatively stepped forward, then ran towards them, grabbing Shiro, Keith, and Regris in his arms.

“Glad to see you again!” The tailed hybrid greeted.

“I thought I wasn’t going to escape, it seems I’ve underestimated you all.” His voice was shaky, so were his hands. His twitching ears and almost sour scent made it clear that he had been clanlessing as well.

“It's good to have you back,” Shiro offered. “I know you pledged your life but still, I couldn’t help feeling bad about you getting yourself exploded.”

“You didn’t do anything, that was my choice and I’m glad that I made it.”

Everyone was always telling Takashi that he didn’t do anything wrong, and he found it hard to believe, but at least he didn’t have to carry the burden of Ulaz’s death anymore.

“Did they treat your injuries?” Keith asked.

“Yes but I’m still…. they kept me alone so..”

“Clanlessing.”

“You know what that means?”

“Uh, Yeah. I’m actually half Galra, I joined the blades a bit after you saved us.”

“Oh, um.”

“Keith, Krolia’s son.”

“Krolia! You’re the kitten she had to leave behind?”

Lance wanted to rip on him for being called a kitten, but he could see the pain in his eyes at the reminder of being abandoned. Why did he have to go through this alone? Why did he want to help him? The blue paladin wanted to be there for him. Sure they knew each other well enough but it should be weird to want to be that big a part of his life?

“Yeah, anyway let’s get you some rest, I can tell you what’s going on later.” The red paladin looked to Hunk.

“Do you know if Gorgov and Zorzak are still working?”

“I think they’re done, they say it’s their second sleep. Apparently Galra days have two times for sleeping.”

“Perfect, let’s pile with them. Lotor, you coming?” The Emperor snapped to attention.

“Of course.” Matt noticed how he had been quiet since Allura’s intervention and didn’t want to let him out of his sight for too long.

“Can I come too?” He asked.

“I don’t see why not,” Lotor agreed.

“It’s weird getting used too,” Keith added. All eyes were on him now. Lance couldn’t keep his bullshit in anymore.

“Wait! You sleep in piles?” He laughed.

“The blades didn’t have any bedrooms, it’s just what they do,” the red paladin defended.

“Alright, is it organized or is it like a rat pile thing?”

“Larger ones on top while the smaller ones are on the bottom.” Ulaz informed. Lance would have gone on, if not for Shiro’s barely audible “heh that’s what he said.” Which immediately stole his attention. The black paladin regretted letting that slip as the garrison trio pounced on it.

“Wait! Are you gay?” Lance probed.

“Yeah?”

“What?! Really?!”

“You seriously didn’t know?” Pidge questioned.

“Yeah man, you were at the garrison didn’t you see him and Mr. White?” Hunk piped in.

“What the- What?! Adam said he had a fiancé but that was you?!”

“Congratulations you’re the last to find out.” Keith mocked. They made fun of Lance’s obliviousness but didn’t notice their leader’s mournful look. Adam. He was so caught up in horror and war that he barely thought about him. He didn’t want to think about how they left things, he didn’t want to think about how he could face him after becoming a monster. The only times he could spare to think of him was when he was in the kitchen remembering breakfasts together, or in his bed remembering how well he could use that body. 

Would he want him back? Would things even work now? Sure his fiancé could handle his muscular dystrophy sentencing him to an early death, but it was gone now, cut away by the druids and replaced with something worse. He had killed, he was hurt, he had died and been reborn to a body that wasn’t his covered in scars he doesn’t remember getting. Would Adam take him back? Would anyone? By the time everyone had finished making fun of Lance he was already lost in thought. The galra and Matt made their way to their bed, so he may as well go to his and pray to whatever he still believed in that his nightmares don’t come tonight.


	14. Queer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Lotor discover things about each other while Lance discovers things about himself

Lance wasn’t sure what he was feeling, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel. He’d flown the princess back to the castle, the whole time she was ranting and raving about how she did nothing wrong, how Lotor just wants to hurt her, and how he must be lying about her family and his injuries. With every word, the boy drooped lower in his seat, it was clear that she was unwilling to accept any wrongdoing. Unwilling to change.

He said nothing to her until they got back to the docking bay, then all he told her was that he had to tell Krolia and Coran. Along the princess went trying to convince him not to tell them, that everyone had it wrong and that she was innocent. He could hear his, once her, lion in the back of his mind, she regretted trusting her too. The blue paladin went on wordlessly to the rec room where they were waiting, and told them everything.

He couldn’t shake that look that Coran gave his princess, crushing disappointment that he could help but feel he could have stopped. Krolia only have her that doglike Galra growl, announced that she was going to rest with her son, took the wolf, and took a cruiser to the base.

Now, after reuniting with Ulaz and bidding goodbye for the day to the Galra and Matt, he was back on the Castle. Allura must be in her room, and Lance went to his. The boy finally broke down on his bed. How long was he pining after her? How long was he jealous of a battered boyfriend? Would she have done that to him?

His body shook with tears, she was never his but he wished she was, but it turns out she’s just… awful. Why had he ever been jealous? Why did he make such a point of glaring at other guys to get them to back off? Matt was never going to “take” her and neither was Keith. Why had he been so threatened by Keith? Sure he was gorgeous without trying and had an excellent body, but he never made any advances.

Come to think of it, Keith never really hit on anyone. Sure he got hit on by plenty of aliens on their missions but Lance always glared them down too. 

Wait.

No.

What?

No.

Come to think of it, he was always looking to impress the princess, but why was he looking to him for approval as well? Why did he always pay such close attention to how he dressed or parted his way too soft hair? Why did he feel something odd in his chest during that “bonding moment”? In fact, he said that he didn’t remember it not because he forgot, in fact he thought about it way more than he thought he would, but because he was afraid that he’d said or did something while loopy that would creep him out.

He liked girls though! He hit on every girl he could find with any trait he found attractive, sure one or two of them turned out to be male and he kept flirting but surely that was a mistake? Or a joke? Had he felt this about guys before? Oh… He remembered Kinkade from the class next door and how the thought of him changing in the locker room just happened to coincide with a boner, but he didn’t like guys. He didn’t like Keith.

Did he?  
——————

Shiro couldn’t sleep, after an emotionally exhausting day like this he just wanted to shut his eyes, but his body disagreed. He pawed at the stump of his robotic arm, then sat back up. He looked at his date pad to see if there was anything to do. He had downloaded the tracker for Thace’s ship, but it would be hours till he got there, so he was left with a crushing nothing.

Whenever he had nothing to do, his mind would go to darker places. It was like when he was a prisoner. When he wasn’t killing or being tested on he was in a cell. He was the only human the other prisoners had ever seen and there were no translators there, he wanted so badly to talk to someone but all they could hear were his series of clicks and hums that were English or Japanese. They would murmur in their languages about his kills and jump back when he reached out to them. By the end he knew just enough slave pidgin to communicate the bare minimum. Food. Water. Cold. And one he used most often, Sorry. 

He had nothing to do again. There was no one around him to apologize to but he had committed horrible crimes. He looked through files and messages to search for anything to help him shirk the blame of immeasurable sin. A knock on his door made him jump, but he was so glad that someone was here. The black paladin opened the door to see Lance looking more than a bit uneasy.

“Lance, what’s up?” Shiro asked.

“I uhh, can we talk?” Lance muttered. The leader ushered him inside and they both sat on his bed.

“Can I ask you something weird? Like I’m not trying to be rude or anything.”

“Sure.” 

“How..” the boy hesitated. “How did you know you liked guys?” Much to his surprise, the man laughed.

“About time! Okay, well, it’s hard to tell at first. People are always acting like being het is just the default so when you start crushing you just don’t get that it’s a crush. But at some point you put 2 and 2 together.”

“Huh. I mean I know I like girls, but now that I think about it, I felt the same way about some guys and just thought ‘weird huh.’ But I don’t think that was just a coincidence.” He shot up. “And what do you mean ‘about time?’”

“I mean congratulations you’re the last one to figure this out. It’s Keith right?”

“What?! No! Shut up! Why?!”

The amputee chuckled again. Another baby gay for him to Mr. miyagi.  
“Ignoring the fact that everyone in the lions is some iteration of queer, you know we can see you right? The straights might think it’s just ‘guys being dudes’ but you two?” He broke out laughing again.  
“You have the most obvious ‘oblivious to your own emotions’ eyes around him.”

“Don’t you think that’s weird? Won’t he be creeped out?”

“Lance, Keith is gay.”

“Seriously? How?”

“Buddy if I knew why anyone was gay I’d tell you, but I’m afraid I can only tell you what he told me.”

“What did he tell you?”

“Well you met Regris….” Shiro paused and smiled at him.

“Shiro?”

He kept smiling,

“Shiro?!” It took the Cuban boy a moment.  
“Dios mio! Are they a thing?!”

“Not really, But Galrans go into heat sometimes and apparently they just sleep with friends whenever it happens. They aren’t a couple but I know where his virginity went.”

Why was he pissed at Regris now? Should he kick his lizard ass? 

“But Regris is an alien.”

“So is Keith, and if that’s not enough I’ve him seen the looks he gave to Kinkade to you.”

“Holy fuck! Kinkade was mine too, and what? You think he likes me?”

“Ask him yourself.”

“Thanks Shiro!” The blue paladin left hastily in newfound bi panic. As he went back to his room thoughts rushed into his head. What if I tell him and it just makes things weird? What would my family think? Sure they have no problem with Uncle Diego and his husband but what if it’s different for him? He’d heard the horror stories of what happened to some gay kids back when his parents were young but things have changed, why was he so scared?  
—————

Back on the Omega Shield base, the others were getting ready to sleep. Keith was walking Matt through how piling worked.

“Seriously? We just get naked?” The blonde questioned. 

“I know.” The human hybrid agreed “it’s weird but you get used to it. Also, they’re going to be freaked out that we can’t retract our dicks. Antok literally whined when he found out.”

“Really? That the thing they think is weird about this?”

“Yup,” with that the red paladin stripped off his armor and flight suit. Matthew looked around and sure enough the others were naked already, so he took off his clothes as well. And sure enough…

“Your..” Ulaz gestured vaguely to his genitals.

“They don’t retract!” Regris practically yelled.

“What?” Lotor was taken aback.

“Nope.” Keith answered, how many times had he had to tell the blades this? 

“They’re just out all the time?” Ulaz inquired. “What kind of evolutionary dead end is that?”

“A shitty one,” the full human joked. “If you get it in it-“ 

Every Galra in the room recoiled. How have humans survived this long!? What type of monstrosity can live with the constant vulnerability of getting hit in the dick and just keep living?

“Unusual,” Lotor commented. He was always interested in xenobiology, but humans kept proving to be something else. The unusually High durability and strength made sense now, they have to have something to make up for external genitalia.

The group soon shrugged off this disturbing information and piled on, this time it was the two humans on the bottom, the two other hybrids in the middle, and Gorgov and Ulaz on the top. The galra seemed to melt, and Matt could tell that even Keith and Lotor were relaxing. Someone started purring. Holy shit! Galra can purr! That’s so cute.

The human soon realized that Lotor was on top of him completely naked. Sure he had seen him naked before but that was a medical thing. Now they were both naked in bed. Sure there were four other aliens on top of them, but it was so odd. The Emperor’s skin was softer than he would have expected, so was his hair, and were his claws really retracted? It was so nice to see the beautiful male relaxed.

Oh no, external genitalia was becoming a problem.

The human shuffled farther down into the bed to try to hide his hardness. Why now?! Sure He was openly pan and constantly insisted that he intended to fuck aliens back at the garrison, but this specific alien… The man couldn’t deny that he was drop dead gorgeous and absolutely his type. But now was not the time to get hard. He’d just have to wait it out.

The human eventually fell asleep under him. The galra had a good thing going sleeping like this, The warms and weight put him right to sleep. But Lotor noticed. The scent of human arousal was an easy one to pick up on, he figured his guard must have a thing for the other human and didn’t think any more about it. The red paladin was a lucky male, Matt was indeed very wonderful. 

The group almost didn’t notice as Krolia slipped into the room with the wolf and scrambled under Ulaz. In his half awake daze he recognized her scent and purred at another familiar person. The wolf made an attempt to climb down to his boy, but resigned himself to curling up on Gorgov. Another night in a pile would do the emperor good, it would do them all good. They were something like a clan now.


	15. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Lotor are idiots and so is everyone else

A soldier came into their room to wake them, it must have been a weird sight considering the humans and space wolf. Ulaz was prodded and informed that Thace and Kolivan had arrived, and he in turn woke the others. Gorgov and Zorzak grumbled the others leaving, but the rest were reluctantly crawling out of the warmth. Matt knew that it was uncomfortable enough to be nude with all of these people, he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for Keith whose mom joined them.

They dressed swiftly while the mother greeted her son and comrade, and he couldn’t help smiling at the humanizing moment of the emperor cursing under his breath when his flight suit got caught on his brace.

Now Matthew has always been an alien nerd, and this was just amazing. Galrans had so many phenotypes! So many breeds! Amazing hybridization rates! Lotor was certainly a nice specimen, beautiful markings and pretty eyes. He had to ask.

“Lotor?”

“Yes?”

“Are you wearing mascara?” The hybrid looked confused.  
“Y’know, makeup? That dark stuff around your eyes?”

“Oh, these?” The galran touched the black. “They’re sunbands, they’re natural in plated and desert breeds, it helps us see in sunny environments.”

“Cool, a lot of humans draw that on, so you’ve got like, a natural beauty treatment!” Matt may not have noticed, but other Galra can read his body language. Ears pricked up and pupils widened, he was happy at that. It wasn’t often anyone found his body attractive.

Ulaz finished dressing first as all he put on was the prison under suit, but the rest were soon finished and followed Lotor to the medbay where they were told their comrades were. He took the pillbox from his pocket and popped one, he wasn’t in too much pain but it would flare up if untreated. The field breed rushed ahead when he saw the door, and by the time the rest caught up he was already inside, embracing Thace and Kolivan.

The medics didn’t seem to know what was going on, but they rushed around, checking bandages and applying salves. Thace was hooked up to an I.V. while a nurse sewed up a wound on his back. They only looked up when they got the familiar scents of Keith and his mother. They all looked awful, but they would heal. The exchange of stories took only a few minutes.

Ulaz was drifting in space for a few days until he was picked up by the ship he’d been on the whole time. Thace was caught and immediately sent to the prison camp. It was mostly Krolia and her son who shared their harrowing tale up until now.

“I am so glad that you are alive,” Kolivan cooed. 

“Sir, have you been drinking?” Ulaz had to ask when he smelled alcohol on his breath.

“What would you have done? Everyone close to me was gone and my mate was dead as well. At least I thought so.”

“Antok is alive?”

“Alive on Sendak’s ship.” Both of the newly freed blades lowered their ears. Sendak’s ship was a death sentence.

“We have a chance to save him,” Lotor interjected. “If we leave soon we can cut off his ship as it goes through the farnow system.”

“What are our chances?” Thace inquired.

“Not as bad as they could be,” there’s paladin reminded. “With Lotor’s cruisers and Voltron as a distraction, we can be in and out in an hour tops.”

“No, Voltron won’t work for this, the damage to the ship could kill him.” Their leader disagreed. “We could distract them with a hailing frequency, we can bounce this signal from this ship off of a deflector we can place on and chunk of rock.”

“That would work.” The emperor mused. “Major Lahn could hail Sendak claiming that I have yet to return and so he will pledge his loyalty to him, but nitpick his conditions. If he argues long enough, Sendak will attempt to attack him and follow the frequency.”

“Giving us plenty of time to locate the prison and get him back to us.”

“Very well, I will brief the Major,” with that Lotor marched off, his guard walking after him. While the Galra continued plotting, the two were left alone, a perfect opportunity to check up.

“Hey, how you holding up?” The human asked, again his charge looked unsure.

“Why are you asking? Do you think that I’m unwell?”

“I know you are, I’m just seeing if you need anything.”

“No, I’m fine.” Again he took a pill from his box.

“Okay, but remember I’m here when you need anything. Like even just help working or food. Oh shit, how long has it been since we ate?”

“I’m not sure, we can eat after the briefing.” When was the last time someone had asked him so many trivial things? Why did he care if he wasn’t fine or wasn’t eating? Did he actually care about him? That Keith was lucky to have him.  
————

“You want me to do what?” Lahn Demanded.

“Exactly as I said, when the deflector is in place and I give you the command you will hail Sendak’s ship and claim that you are pledging your loyalty on absurd conditions. Argue with him, try to keep him on the line until we retrieve the Blade of Marmora member.”

“Very well sire.” Lotor nodded and turned back to his guard.

“You’re dismisses, on of my soldiers can show you to the mess hall.

“Oh no!.” Matt denied. “You’re coming too.”

“I have work.”

“They have it covered, we have a varga till we leave and you haven’t eaten in a day.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“But you aren’t fine now, come on.” The human grabbed his charge’s arm and tugged him. The taller male was too tired to fight it, and yeah, he was pretty hungry.

As the two walked to the mess hall, Lotor had to wonder how long it had been since anyone had actually concerned themselves with his well being. Last time was probably with his generals when Narti told him to stop working during his heat. Oh gods Narti. How long has she been a puppet? It was good to know that there was no way the witch could ever have touched the human. He was clean of her. He was so uncommonly good.

When they arrived it was already bustling. Plenty of soldiers, techs, and medics intermingled eating and talking. It was definitely different from earth. There was no order, the tables were covered in various dried meats and processed crackers. All around them were Galra putting them in bowls and sitting on the floor, standing, or crouching, there were no chairs.

“Wow, I expected like, way more processed crap. I didn’t think military ships could afford meat.” Matthew commented.

“Things must be very different with humans. No, meat isn’t a rare commodity to us, the empire has plenty of farming planets but only 10% of intelligent species are carnivores or omnivores.” The emperor stepped to the closest table and took a handful of the meat, eating it unceremoniously. Nearby soldiers backed away or paused at the sight of their leader there. Why had the emperor come to join them? Zarkon’s zombie like functions that changed his social necessities changed the perception of his position as well. It was an odd thing to see their new leader so… Galran. And what was with that other creature he brought with him?

“Nice! I gotta be honest, food goo is fine but it gets old fast.” He took some meat too and bit into it, it wasn’t as tough as he thought it’d be.  
“So are Galra totally carnivores? I thought I saw you eating that altean thing Coran made.”

“Mesocarnivores, and yes. But unfortunately my body quite disagreed with that, we aren’t equipped to eat those things. What about humans? Carnivores as well?”

“Omnivores. We’ll eat pretty much anything.”

“Really? It must be easy for you and the Paladins to survive away from your homeworld then.”

“Yeah, is it bad for Galra? Like showing up to a place and only finding plants?”

Lotor swallowed a piece of the meat and barked a laugh.

“You should have seen half the kàit my generals and I ate. Made the mistake of eating a poisonous bird once that left me hallucinating for days.” They were his allies not long ago. What the hell happened? Where they even alive?

“Ah man, I get that. I did shrooms in high school once and fucked up.”

“Humans have mushrooms?” Oddly enough that got the attention of the whole room.

“Yeah, there’s like a thousand types of them I think.” Hundreds of voices muttered excitedly.

“Thousands?” 

“Yeah, what’s up? Is that weird?”

“It’s wonderful! Your planet will be covered in Galra ships looking for shipments though.”

“Are mushrooms that big with you?”

“Oh you don’t know the half of it. Every planet the empire touches knows how valuable a delicacy they are to us.”

“Holy shit dude, I went through a phase where I just loved mushrooms.”

“Then You’re one of billions of galra. Back when I was in exile one thing that was actually better was that I didn’t have to obey MIR laws.”

“What’s MIR?”

“Mushroom Import Regulation. It has become a very lucrative black market.”

“Seriously?!”

“Every time a new species learns about that they have the same reaction.” At that a plated breed soldier tapped Matt’s shoulder.

“And What’s that about thousands of mushrooms?”

“Oh bruh it’s awesome.” The following thirty minutes of idle mushroom talk was a nice change of pace. Just a little break between several torrential hardships was the most they could ask for. The emperor did feel better having eaten, especially after subsisting on that awful food goo on the castle that was absolutely not made for carnivores. When it was time for them to return to the docking bay,he was much steadier.  
—————

The plan was good, Lotor just didn’t like it. It was simple, while Lahn distracts Sendak with the transmission and deflection that Pidge set up, he and the blades would sneak onto the ship disguised as a prisoner transport. Simple. But the only ship that could carry the smaller cruisers that couldn’t be detected by Sendak’s quintessence scanners was the Castle.

He didn’t dare voice his apprehension, but Matt could sense it. He rode with him on the red lion, mostly in silence. Quiznak. Quiznak! He’d have to be on the command deck with her. He couldn’t face her again. Not alone.

But he wasn’t alone, not with his guard. Matthew scrolled through his phone, more pictures and saved things. The Galra couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have him by his side longer. Trust was a scarcity in his experience, but this beautiful little thing had plenty. Keith was a lucky man to have him.

When Red landed he stood slowly, raised his head and squares his shoulders. This was no different than the times he had to meet with his father, just look strong and most people won’t question it. The human questioned it though, he stood close to him, almost touching.

Keith and the blades talked in a group, three already back from the dead about to bring the fourth. The other Paladins and they were not so excited. She would be there. While the others went onto the command deck he hesitated, his heart sped up and his breathing got quiet as it often did when he was afraid.

“I’m right here with you,” Matthew reminded. Lotor couldn’t stop here, he had to go in. He had to strong. He stepped in with enough outward confidence to mask his horror. His stomach churned.

The others were milling about checking screens or talking, but the nervousness was palpable. Everyone stayed clear of the controls where Allura stood. She didn’t turn around to see him, and for that he was grateful. He took a seat on a bench with his guard next to the wolf.

“Don’t suppose you’ll be joining us?” He asked the animal. The wolf cocked his head.

“He can’t talk, that’s just an animal.” Keith called over. Lance, who had been acting weird and nervous since they got there finally piped up.

“What’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have a name, I don’t want to get attached.”

“You already brought him with you, that sounds like attached.”

“Fine, what do you want to name him?” Odd, why was Lance blushing?”

“How about something space-y? Like comet?”

“Ooh! Or Nebula!” Hunk interjected.

“Maybe Vortex?” Pidge offered.

“Cosmo!” Lance tried.

“Actually, I like Cosmo, that work for you bud?” The red paladin asked his wolf. Cosmo did not respond but what else could he have done. Lotor tried to make observations to take his mind off of the Altean in the room. 

“The blue paladin seems to be after your mate.” He noticed quietly enough that only Matt could hear him.

“What do you mean my mate?”

“The red paladin, the Hybrid?”

“Oh you mean Keith? No we’re not together.” The blonde chuckled.

“Really? Last night I thought I notice you becoming arou-“

“Shut-ut-ut-ut-ut!” The human frantically stammered to stop him from finishing that word and whispering.  
“Please don’t announce that! I’m sorry I thought no one noticed.”

“Hard not to, you have a strong scent and again, external genitalia.”

“Look man I’m sorry, but if you’re literally naked on top of me what do expect?” Wait, that was about him? 

“Oh, well then never mind.” Lotor didn’t know why he was feeling this. He was not particularly attractive by Galran standards, but this human thought he was? The Galra couldn’t deny that his guards was lovely as well…. now he had to change the subject to keep his internal genitalia well, internal.  
“Think he has a chance?”

“Lance? Maybe, I’m pretty sure Keith is gay but they also have a weird love-hate thing.”

“Gay, is that a subspecies?”

“Not really, it just means that someone is attracted to members of the same sex.

“Unusual, it seems strange to assign titles to such things. The Galra simply pursue who they wish to pursue.”

“Alright then, what about you? You ever go for guys?” What was it with Matt today? Why was his brain going on about ‘please say yes’?.

“If you’re referring to males then yes. I believe I was with a male around a year ago.”

“Nice..”

“Why do wish to know?”

“Does it matter?”

“Perhaps it matters if I’m truly the one who made your-“

“Fine! Yes! It’s you, I’m sorry for making this weird.”

“No not at all!” Lotor had to bring his voice back down again. “Well… I won’t deny that you’re quite attractive.”

“Are you kidding me? Look at yourself bro! You’ve got natural eyeliner and anyone would kill for your height or hair!”

There goes his dick right out of its sheath. Why was his dick out.

“Th-thank you.” Neither know what to say here, the emperor rarely had anyone acknowledge his appearance positively and Matt rarely got this far. A few seconds of awkward silence drove the point home.

“I mean, if you’re not creeped out by it, we could try giving it a shot?”

“I think I’d like that,” the taller male smiled. He leaned cautiously into the human and he leaned back. This would be different. Not like old partners who used him for sex and left. Not like Allura who abused and belittled him. Maybe something like what he imagined relationships to be like when he was young and unaware of the hardships ahead. Maybe the hardships still ahead wouldn’t give him such a burden to carry if he didn’t have to carry it alone.


	16. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antok is saved at the expense of flesh and bone

It had been decades, no, centuries since Lotor had worn foot soldier armor. It was surprisingly easy to find some that fit him, the empire must have gotten more accustomed to the proportions of hybrids since he left. His hair tied up was mostly hid under the helmet, and he drew on some sharp markings on his cheeks to throw off any recognition. The other Galra with him had dressed in armor as well, except for Regris who was redressed in the prison uniform and wearing a pair of handcuffs damaged enough for him to easily escape when the time came. 

They boarded the cruiser on the Castle and waited to deploy while Ulaz forged documents for “prisoner 94-146, Heldrin. Gnov loyalist.” Pidge waved the O.K. as Lahn opened a hailing frequency to Sendak’s ship, and Thace took the ship up. 

Gods, Lotor didn’t want to leave, Not now. He knew it was selfish, but now that he had someone looking out for him, he wanted to be back with him, but the emperor couldn’t jeopardize the mission for that. Pidge’s voice was in a hidden earpiece, she told them that Sendak was distracted, now was the time. 

They neared his flagship, and bad memories came crawling back out of the folds of his brain. It was his father’s home not long ago. This was were he was punished for simply being a child. It was where he was beaten for being hungry, in pain, or in heat, things his zombified father refused to understand. It was were he stood as he witnessed Ven’tar’s planet destroyed. Where he was whipped bloody and exiled to treat the scars on his back alone. Maybe if Matt were there he’d notice his fear.

The docking bay opened for their ship, and two sentries waited with guns drawn as they stepped out. Lotor had his gun to the back of Regris’ head, who hissed in rage at his captors. He was a good actor.

“State your identification,” one of the machines demanded. 

“I am Clyfal,” Ulaz started. “We have been sent to deliver a prisoner.”

“Who is the prisoner?”

“Captain Heldrin Of Gnov’s rebellion.” A Galra soldier came down from her post at the declaration, if she were to turn in this prisoner, it would surely mean a promotion!

“I will show you to our prison, the filthy half breed will be interesting to see in the arena,” she offered.

“Good, but we will be accompanying you, I have a… personal stake in his delivery. It is because of him that my brother was injured.”

“I understand, follow me.” She marched ahead, leading them right to where they needed to go. As they walked the passed room after room, soldier after soldier, then stopped in front of a control panel that their escort worked on to open the door to the cells. 

“I’m glad you got here as soon as you did, we would have been gone in a few vargas.”

“Where is the ship headed?”Ulaz inquired. “If it is to conquer I may wish to join.”

“Oh conquer is an understatement. Word is that the Emperor has found the paladin’s homeworld.” Everyone But the oblivious enemy tensed at the words. Keith especially, he ground his teeth at the suggestion of an attack on earth.

“Interesting.” The field breed mused before Keith could say anything. “Why Earth?”

“Earth? Why do you know the name of the homeworld?” Demanded their escort who wheeled around with her gun raised. Their cover was blown. Plan b. Keith uppercut her while she was focused on Ulaz, knocking her out long enough to disarm her. Lotor moves her slumped form away from the controls and finished putting in the code.

“How do you know the code?” Regris asked as he took her gun.

“I grew up here, and besides, Sendak isn’t interested enough is tech to change the passwords.” The door opened into a line of cells, these ones were full. The muffled whispers in many languages and slave pidgin filled the room. There were no built in translators in prisons in order to prevent communication.

This became a problem.

“Antok okt ksival gba?” Thace asked.

“Kàit jul ghano keel felko!” Regris replies. Keith didn’t speak much Galra, maybe it would do him good to learn since all he could translate was profanity.

“Uhh, what?” He wondered aloud. Realizing that they couldn’t understand him, Thace grabbed him by the arm and ran back out.

“There’s no translators in there. Listen, the cruiser is big enough to carry 15 people including us, and I saw two other similar models in the docking bay. We could set them all free. Your mother and I can fly them, can you fly the third?”

“Alright,” with a nod the two went back in hoping they wouldn’t need to talk. Kolivan has been quiet until then, but he broke his silence. 

“Antok!” The male could smell his mate behind one door, upon opening it he found him and a few cowering aliens in the cell. Antok was not often seen without his mask, but now his face lit up.

“Kolivan!” He leapt to his feet, although his whole body was cut and bruised he would not tolerate an inch between them.

“I thought they had slaughtered you,” the mountain breed teares up with his mate finally back in his arms.

“Can’t stay dead for long,” he returned his tears, but soon turned back to the other prisoners. There weren’t many species Keith could recognize, a balmeran here, another Galra there. Their newly freed comrade said a simple phrase to them in broken pidgin. 

(“Safe. Escape”)

The many people perked up, they leapt to their feet or paws or even levitated at the notion of freedom. Lotor lead the way out of the prison once all the cells were open and emptied of the, about 40 prisoners. He was just as eager to escape as the captives, he remembered his father leaving him there for days as a child.

As the group ran out the varied grunts and trills started to translate into declarations of freedom, fear of being caught, and just simple cries of relief. There was no point in trying to be stealthy now with 47 people bolting through the halls. Several sentries and soldiers came out to stop them. A few killed or injured the fleeing aliens, but most were tackled, dismantled, bitten and torn apart. One particularly clanlessing Galra prisoner tore a soldier’s esophagus out with his fangs.   
Each downed enemy was another gun for the caravan.

“Hey assholes, what happened to stealth?!” Pidge yelled through their earpieces.

“Oh fuck off we have way more prisoners than we thought,” Keith yelled back.

“Welp I hope they can run fast because Sendak figured out that Lahn was a distraction.”

“Shit! We’re almost there!”

They dashed into the docking bay, the flood of desperate people overcame the few guards and sentries.

“More are coming!” Shouted one firing into the onslaught of soldiers until he was killed by a shot.

“Keith, take the left cruiser, krolia get the other,” commanded Thace as he climbed into the ship they arrived on and began ushering people in.

“On it,” the human Hybrid got onto one and his mother on the other, Ulaz and Lotor hung back to hold off the soldiers until the last two slaves, a balmeran and her injured Galra companion, made it onto Keith’s ship. The command deck finally got the signal through to close the bay doors, so they had to make it quick.

First Thace’s ship, then Krolias. Keith breathes in struggling gasps, and grit his teeth as he flew through, but the door clipped a wing of the ship, sending it spinning. Lotor held on the back of the ship to keep from falling, and pressed several buttons on the controls to stabilize the flight. As they flew away, several small fighters came after them, but were staved off by something.

The human hybrid looked to be in pain, but they’d handle that later, the emperor pulled up a visual of behind them. It was the yellow and black lion. The two super weapons gave them plenty of time to escape, and in minutes they were in sight of the Castle. 

“Alright, the moment we touch down we must first get all of the injured to the healing pods, on this ship alone we have four injuries.” Ulaz plotted.

“Make that five,” Keith groaned. For the first time his comrades looked at him closely and he was clearly in bad shape. On the side of his abdomen where the meager armor was weak was a massive burn mark. He’d luckily only been grazed my the blast, but it was enough for him to bleed out. 

“Keith!” Lotor Shouted as the human slumped in his seat, he had lost too much blood. Ulaz pulled him out of the seat and the emperor took his place to land their craft. The field breed took off the boy’s armor and tore away the undersuit near the blast. He kept forgetting that human blood was red, but there was red everywhere. Without any of his regular tools he had to clean the blast the instinctive way, he licked at the wound to rid it of dirt and debris, grateful that he was too unconscious to feel the barbed tongue on open flesh.

The Castle docking bay was open, and they were the last to land. Not a tick had passed since the ship touched the ground before Ulaz ran off carrying his friend’s kitten to the medical bay, ignoring the worried questions.

“What the hell, Keith?” 

“Is he okay?”

“Wait, Blade guy!” It was Lance and Shiro who ran after them. The Galra panted at he sprinted as fast as his legs would take him to where he remembered the Med bay was. The moment he caught a glimpse of the cold sterile room, he rushed inside. The tall male finished clawing off his undersuit as was protocol for Galran surgeons, then propped him up in a healing pod.

All those years of classes and training and practice, and he was stopped by the healing pod itself. Altean tech was never something he learned about, and the strange letters on the controls did nothing to help. He snarled at the machine as he tried to figure it out before his comrade bled to death.

Lance and Shiro ran in after him to find him struggling with the mechanics, so the black paladin too the controls and typed in the correct sequence while Lance spoke worriedly with their ally.

“What happened to him?!”

“A firefight, the armor seemed to have stopped most of the blast, and it missed all major arteries and organs. However due to the armor’s breaking, Metal was forced into the wound, if cleaned it all out but it will still leave a scar if he heals.”

“He will heal!” The blue paladin insisted.

“I hope so.” As they came down from their panic others came in, there were seven prisoners that had injuries. The two Paladins helped the others into pods or if the injuries weren’t bad the surgeon treated them. One, a badly clanlessing galra, was sent back with Krolia to the Omega Base to join a pile there. Once everyone was treated or otherwise stabilized, Lance leaned against the red paladin’s pod.

“Hey man, I don’t know if you can hear me in there, but I hope you’re okay.” He waited until Shiro and Ulaz went to report to the others before continuing.  
“I’ve just been thinking a lot lately about you? And me? It’s just, you’re so good at everything you do, and you’re an amazing guy. I don’t know, this is all new to me, I’m worried that this’ll just fuck up what we’ve got going but… fuck man please stay alive. What do you need, man?”

The blue paladin held back a sob after emotions he didn’t think were that powerful started hissing from his mind.

“It can’t be a fucking lazer that takes you down, you can’t die because the one storm trooper that could aim got you. There’s… so much I want to do with you, to tell you. It’s just weird dealing with this, this feeling you know? I don’t want to have it but it comes back every time… every time you do.”

He sat down and leaned against the pod.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. You’re a Blade and the team needs you, and I’m just, no one. I want you to like me but, just, that’s so fucked up. I know you could have anyone, but please just live until you can find them? I can’t expect you to even like me after I’ve been such a dick to you, I mean, I remembered the bonding moment, I was just pretending not to to piss you off.” The pitiful body in the pod shifted and the pale lips opened just a sliver.

“I fuckin knew it,” he coughed.

“Keith!” Lance scrambled to his feet and looked in, he was a bit awake and almost stable.

“Uh, how much of that did you hear?” He tested.

“All of it,” the red paladin managed a weak chuckle. “It’s uh, it’s good to hear I’m not the only one.”

“What do you mean the only one?”

“I mean the only one who’s thought about it, I just thought you liked girls.”

“Me to, then my dick is all “Hey what about guys” and Shiro’s all “you’re probably bisexual.””

“Lance, I’ve thought about it, and I kinda liked the idea. When I get out of the pod, we should probably talk about this.”

“Right! Massive wound ya need to recover from! Got it! Get some rest!” Before the blue paladin could nervously exit the room finger gunning away, the hybrid just had to say one more thing.

“And Lance, you’re not a nobody. This team needs you, and way more people wouldn’t be alive if you weren’t here. I wouldn’t have anyone else is Blue.”

“Thanks man.” A jittery smile, a wave goodbye, and Keith was left alone to heal, this time without old feelings keeping his mind occupied. Them together was a nice thought


	17. Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor takes the time to clean the blood off his body, this time not alone

The last shuttle from the Castle touched down on the Omega shield base, not the ship they had been working from, but the base that it protected. It was new to the soldiers for their emperor to not only free prisoners, but to demand that they be treated well. They would be taken in and given the same rights as civilians, including the right to leave back to their homes if they have a place to go.

All the prisoners were gone save for Antok. He and the rest of the blades were still talking in the docking bay with the Paladins, their newly freed comrade told his story of capture not too different than the others, and Kolivan stay close to him. It would be quite some time before he let his mate go again.

“We got lucky,” Thace reminded. “It was a one time thing, we can’t do that again so none of you agbonsas get captured.”

“Aww man, there goes my weekend plans,” Pidge quipped.

“Only eight casualties is much better than we could have expected,” Ulaz mused. “And it seems that your kit will make a save recovery.” Krolia nodded.

“He’s strong, and he’ll come out of this stronger.” She stated proudly.

“Strong indeed, we can only hope his brain can catch up.” Regris joked.

“Cubs are cubs, You should know that.” Kolivan chided, seeing as how the hybrid was about Keith’s age.

“Yeah, least I stay on task.”

“Last time you supposedly stayed on task you got yourself captured.”

At the other prattled on, Lotor stood a few paces back. He was trying to listen to what they were saying, but his thoughts forced the words out of his brain. He didn’t think his father’s flagship would still do that to him, but that sick feeling in his throat was still there.

He had killed Zarkon, but Zarkon never left. Every time he slept, every time he tried to recall his youth, every time he was reminded of his previous existence, he clawed at his mind. He was safe! He was free! Why did he have to tell himself this? Why did he wake from nightmares to comb through accounts of his father’s death and cremation just to convince himself that he was dead. Why did he still haunt him?

The emperor recoiled when a hand touched his shoulder, but relaxed when he saw that it was just matt. The boy had a worried look on his face.

“Not doing too great?” He prodded.

“I’ll be fine.”

“But you aren’t fine now.”

Why was he safe here? What was he doing? His voice came close to a whisper.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“No.”

The human wasn’t sure how to help his… charge? Boyfriend? Mate?... Lotor. He touched one of the drawn on marks on his face.

“We should get you cleaned up.”

“I suppose it’s been awhile since I’be bathed.”

“Kàit yes,” Thace added. “It’s been days.”

“Weeks for me,” Regris realized. As the Galrans went around, it seems no one but Krolia and Kolivan had cleaned themselves in awhile, which isn’t what you’re supposed to do when you’re galra.

“I’m going to Lahn’s ship and getting clean, anyone else?” Antok offered, the other blades and Lotor stepped after him.

“You’re all going? Doesn’t the Castle have showers?” Hunk asked.

“Yes, but altean showers, too small.” Ulaz answered. “Alteans don’t clean like we do?”

“What?” Matt inquired.

“Galra are social groomers,” Lotor added. “While we’ve moved past our primitive clan structures, our bonding instincts are still strong.”

Like cats! That’s so cute!

“Could I come?” The human requested.

“You’re sure? The emperor clarified. “If piling was strange to you this certainly will be.”

“Of course dude! I want to learn more about Galran culture.”

“Very well then.” The blond tagged along with them onto one of the stolen cruisers.  
—————

Galra baths were certainly different. It was a circular room larger than the sleeping quarters. On one side we’re selves of various products and implements, while on the other was a lowered pool about waist deep. Over the pool were four showeheads, one more showerhead off to the side. Next to one of the shelves was what looked like a trash can. The blades started undressing, tossing armor and undersuits into the can.

Matthew realized that he’d just have to get used to Galra being naked, and started undressing as well. While he stripped off his cloak and shirt, he noticed that Lotor was seeming apprehensive, he’d just barely begun picking at the locks of his chestplate.

“Hey man, you good?”

The emperor wasn’t sure how to answer that. The short answer would be no, how could he be? The last time he’d been grooming like he was supposed to was with the generals who betrayed him. He hadn’t been caring for himself since then and if he gets undressed they’ll all see it. He couldn’t show his… mate? Guard? Any more weakness after he’d gone such lengths to protect him.

“I’m fine.” With that he grit his teeth and undid the latches in his armor. It was still just the weak foot soldier armor, but any protection was better than none. Next was the fight suit he’d been wearing since before the “weapons malfunction.” Scratched up, bloodstained, the others looked concerned, a concern that only grew as he stripped further. The newcomers hadn’t seen it yet, and the others had been too tired to notice while going to sleep, but those scratches…

The bruises had been explained, as was the brace he was preoccupied with taking off, but the scratches on his arms and wrists were not done by the altean. Lotor did that. Galra stressed enough to self harm were supposed to be given time off work, Why was he still there? He hadn’t been keeping himself clean either, he was in worse shape then they’d thought.

Once done undressing they stepped down into the water, while waist length on Matt it only came up to Antok’s knees. Surprised, the guard was pulled forward by the giant forest breed and sat down on a small round platform in the water.

“What are you doing?” He asked indignantly after being moved so easily by a much bigger creature.

“You are the smallest, you’re first.”

“What?”

“Traditionally,” Kolivan informed. “The smallest are cleaned first.”

“Damn you giant cats,” he joked. He guessed that if they see nothing strange about it, he could go along. Kolivan put one oh his hands in the human’s hair, and felt it.

“He seems most similar to a forest breed,” the male stated. Ulaz nodded and handed him a container of product that his leader opened, then proceeded to knead into Matt’s hair. He squinted his eyes in case any of the… shampoo got in them.

“So what’s the deal with the breeds?” Matt asked. “Are Galra like different species under like an umbrella term?”

“Not quite,” Lotor began as he opened another container of product and started scrubbing it into the human’s arm. “There are six breeds; River, plated, mountain, forest, desert, and Field”

Ulaz who was working on his other arm went on.

“I’m an example of a Field breed. Smaller and built for running and stamina rather than strength. Though my white markings are uncommon, short fur and my mane are the most defining traits of my breed.”

“You poor agbonsa, he’s going to be talking about genetics all day,” Thace joked.

“Thace,” the medic ignored his joke. “As well as Antok, Krolia and her kitten, are forest breeds. Built for climbing and leaping in trees, and with darker fur.” 

“I have some mountain in me,” Thace pointed out, soon followed by Antok who was working on one of Matt’s legs.

“My mother was River.”

“Yes,” the field breed confirmed. “River breeds, I’m not sure if you know any purebreds… Well they’re tall and lanky. Completely hairless and without scales either. They’re, of course, built for swimming and have small sharp teeth for catching small fish. They tend to have many facial markings.”

“They’re fast too,” Lotor commented as he moved to the human’s chest. “I fought one a few phoebes ago, Throk. If not for his insufferable personality he would have been quite admirable.” Thace, Krolia and Regris laughed at that, and Ulaz actually smiled before going on.

“Kolivan is a mountain breed. Largest breed with lighter colors and thick fur, as well as massive toe claws for gripping ice.” Kolivan grunted.

“Regris is a desert breed.” The male in question interrupted.

“I actually look mostly galra, I just got a tail from my mother’s side,” he flicked it to emphasize.

“Anyway, desert breeds are scaled and built for dry, arid environments. Some, mostly females, have fleshy crests but Regris doesn’t. His ears look more river breed like though.”

“I might have some river in me.”

“That could be so.” Antok moved up Matt’s thigh.

“Wh-?” He started.

“It doesn’t retract,” Regris, Ulaz, Matt and Lotor said in unison, eliciting a laugh from everyone. Would he have to go through the ‘sorry my dick is out I literally can’t change that’ thing with everyone? Ulaz went on.

“The last breed would be Plated.” He turned to Lotor, who tended under his gaze. The hybrid readied himself for more criticism of not being Galra enough. He didn’t even look his breed.

“I am technically a plated breed, but I mostly take after my other side.” The emperor informed. Much to his relief, they didn’t go into his biology any more.

“Well, plateds get their name from the bony plates on their backs, heads, and arms. They are slightly smaller than mountain breeds and have the strongest bite strength of any breed.” 

The human turned to Lotor who had made his way up to his shoulders.

“Aw man, you really lucked out with taking after your mother. It’s hard imagining you looking all bony like that”

Lotor’s ears perked up.

“You think so?”

Once again he had to make sure his genitals stayed retracted. Why was such simple praise turning him on? Sure Matt was naked but…. well he was naked. They finished cleaning the human, then they moved onto Krolia, then Regris, the whole time Ulaz babbling away about hybridization and allele pairings. As the Galra went up by higher order, it was then the emperor’s turn.

He wanted it, he was nervous, he wasn’t sure what he felt. Social grooming was a need that he hadn’t been able to fulfill in months, and it showed. When he sat on the seat he felt a bit more uneasy. So many hands touching him reminded him of the druids, but his guard’s cream colored touch kept him grounded. 

Antok was about to pick up a product meant for a plated breed, but caught himself. Lotor’s ears dropped just a bit, he’d almost forgotten the routine humiliation of being reminded that he wasn’t Galra enough, not right, not prepared for. But rather than the regular teasing of his lack of plates or scales, the giant forest breed simply selected one meant for a river breed and started working on his skin. Thace chose one made for mountain breeds to work on his hair.

They didn’t mock his non conformity, rather they worked with him. It was nice, relaxing into the touch, easing his tension. His claws retracted and his eyes were half lidded, it was okay until the others let their concern show through. Thace took one of his arms and looked over the scratch marks, and Ulaz looked closer at the bruising. Dried blood that clung to his body was washed away, but the cuts were still there. The problem however, was that the blades were not beholding to the laws and norms of the empire. They were not afraid of him.

“Do they still hurt?” Asked the field breed as he touched them lightly.

“It’s no worry of yours,” he insisted.

“It has become our worry,” Kolivan disagreed. “I understand the circumstances of your injury was a heinous crime, I am sorry that you’ve suffered such pain.”

The emperor did not respond. Normally he’d grow anxious and curt at unexpected kindness, but this place was safe. During baths it was forbidden to be untruthful, the lies were to be washed away as well. He would be lying to say that he wasn’t grateful for the comfort of those words. He was able to relax and let the others carefully clean off the blood and dust. A rebirth at the hands of his clanmates.

They moved on after him. Thace, then Ulaz, then Kolivan, and Antok. When they were finished they climbed out of the water and went to dry themselves and add whatever finishing touches they’d need. The furred breeds brushed each other, while Regris polished his spines and scales. Lotor was glad for the extra time that allowed him to work on cleaning and sharpening his claws. The broken one didn’t look too bad anymore.

Kolivan and the emperor reached back into the van to retrieve their Armor, and the ladder handed Matthew his clothes. The others opened a closet the human hadn’t noticed before and selected fresh undersuits to replace their ragged ones or prison uniforms. Lotor was surprised at how nice changing into a clean undersuit felt.

They made their way back to the castle amid idle chatter and planning. They plotted strategy, gains, and losses, but it was not the cold atmosphere Lotor was used to. Rather a reminder that between monumental suffering, there were moments of comfort to embrace him


	18. Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made, crimes are addressed, and challenges are issued

“You’re sure?! You’re sure it’s earth?!” By the time the galra and Matt returned, the Paladins were yelling over one another about the unsettling intel from Sendak’s soldier.

“That’s what Ulaz told me,” Shiro told them.

“Are you discussing the eminent attack on earth?” Ulaz asked.

“This can’t be happening,” Hunk mumbled

“Everyone, everything, Sendak will destroy everything!” Lance quavered.

“Not if we can stop them,” Lotor reasoned. “My entire fleet, though limited, is at your service”

Allura stood alone off to the side, the others were understandably cold towards her, but Lotor did not fear her gaze anymore. He was no longer reliant on her for survival and had new allies at his back. When she spoke, he did not look away.

“Sendak’s fleet is not much farther ahead of us, if we are quick, we can beat him to earth and set up defenses.” The Galra glared at her and Antok growled, the Paladins looks wearily, but it was a good plan.

“Alright,” Shiro reasoned. “We can wormhole there easily, but it won’t be big enough for your fleet, unless….”

The emperor cocked his head slightly.

“You took the giant teleduv, what did you do with it?”

“Nothing successful, but I know where it is.”

“Alright then, Allura, could you keep it open long enough for a fleet to get through?”

“Perhaps, But it will need to be modified,” she replied, Shiro’s expression turned to that of fear and anguish. Pidge chuckled quietly.

“No.”

“Yup.”

“NO!” The black paladin groaned as the other Paladins in attendance laughed.

“Slav’s coming to visit!” Lance crowed.

“Who is Slav?” Lotor inquired.

“He’s this super smart genius guy who built the teleduv, But Shiro hates him.

“I hate him so much, but anyway, will you be able to get a fleet here soon?”

“I’ll locate and contact my remaining loyal bases, I leave the rest to you.” With a nod the emperor went back to his room to work, but Matt hung back. 

“Alright everyone,” Shiro finished. “Let’s get ready. Pidge, Hunk, finish repairs on the ship from the rift damage. Lance, Ulaz, take care of Keith. Matt, contact the rebels and see if they have any weapons or supplies to spare, blades, contact the other blades and see how many can come with us, and Allura, we need to talk. Various confirmations in the forms of salutes or casual nods, then everyone went off in different directions to tend to their business and make their calls, but Allura stayed.

“What do you want to talk about?” She asked with tension in her voice.

“I think you know.”

“Are you not done berating me?” She demanded. Shiro sighed.

“Allura, this is a really big deal. From your tone, it's pretty clear that you still don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.”

“I know I messed up, I get it, you all think it was overkill.”

“Not overkill, a crime, and just wrong. But okay, what did you think you were doing?”

“Well sometimes I was angry or frustrated and he’s just so… galra! I love him but he’s Zarkon’s son. Besides he always apologized and said it was fine.”

“Princess… abuse victims do that, he wanted so badly for you to love him that he was able to look past being in so much pain to get it. But he doesn’t deserve that, he’s in too much pain, Matt’s been keeping me updated. He’s been doing better since the breakup.”

“We haven’t broken up! Is he cheating!?”

“Allura!” He took a moment to collect himself. “You say you care about him, but you hurt and insulted him rather than actually loving him. That’s not a relationship, that’s a trap. It doesn’t matter how strong you think he is, he’s hurt. You can’t say you love someone and then hurt them because of the way they were born.”

The Altean seemed to have something click, she finally seemed to see what she had done.

“Fine then, I’ll change, I’ll treat him better. How do I get him back?”

“That’s Just it though, you don’t.”

“What?”

“But I’m changing!”

“That’s good, but not for him. He’s moving on to someone who will love him for more than his mother’s race. I’m glad you’re trying to get better, but this is what happens when you hurt people.”

“Fine then.”

“And I really think you should get ready to apologize to him”  
————————

In another part of the castle, a far less serious conversation was taking place. Matt has finished contacting the rebels after gaining several fighters and rebel soldiers. Thace has broken off from his comrades seeing as his help wasn’t needed, and tracked the human down to the spare room he was staying in. The room was dark, and he looked over just in time to see a dark figure in the doorway with what looked like glowing yellow eyes.

“O FUCK!” He jumped back on the bed where he was sitting. Thace started laughing at the display and turned the lights on.

“Dude don’t do that!”

“Sorry!” He kept laughing.

“Why are you here?” The galra collected himself and plopped down next to him.

“I heard about you and Lotor!”

“What? From who?”

“Him, he mentioned that you showed interest in courting him, are you going to do it?”

“Yeah totally, like what did he say though?”

“Only that you were seeming interested and that he is interested as well. But do you know the courting rituals!”

Matt flushed. “Y’all have courting rituals?”

“Of course, quiznak I think there’s a guide book on every colonized planet. Should we get one?”

“Uh, sure. So how does it work?”

“It’s complicated as kàit, but there’s probably one on the omega shield colony, or maybe a download we can get from the others.”

“Why are you helping me?” The galran smiled.

“I think it’s adorable!” He smiled. “I’ll go check with Antok. Oh, and the first step is to hunt something for him. You have to use a knife, I think I saw some rodents around here, Okay bye!” The forest breed sauntered back to his group and left Matt alone with his face as red as it could get. Well shit, looks like he was killing something for a hot alien.  
________

Off Matthew were to explain his predicament to his family, he could not. He was standing in the docking bay with a knife he had stolen from the kitchen, and in front of him was a weird tiny five eyed goat looking thing. Hunk had told him when he ran into him in the halls about a creature that was in a box in one of the stolen Galra cruisers, assumably to be eaten. It wasn’t intelligent, just annoying. It had gotten out and was now running around the room gurgling.

“Okay, come to me you tiny prick.”

The animal did not respond, rather it gurgled again, rammed its horns into his leg, and kept running. The human was at it for awhile, getting hit in the legs and unfortunately external genitals every other minute. Eventually he got it in a headlock.

“Stop-Ow-Ow! Fucking-!” He slashed its through with the knife and orange blood covered the ground and one of his shoes. He stood holding the goat thing at arms length until it stopped dripping.

“Nasty, Why is this a tradition?” Nonetheless he carried the carcass back through the castle where he ran into Thace and Regris, who turned to him with smug looks.

“Matt, you’ve caught a sküglo! How did you find one?” Asked the Hybrid.

“This fucker was on one of the ships we got from Sendak.”

“Ah, those soldiers will be pissed that we got their prey,” The forest breed started. “Anyway, do you have the knife?”

“Here,” he half lifted it before dropping his exhausted arm down. 

“Perfect! Stab the knife into it and we’ll tell you the rest on the way!”

“To where?”

“Lotor’s quarters!” Regris piped up. He held a small data pad. “And I have the rest of the courting guide here!”

As the group walked, Thace began telling the human how this would work.

“The Galra vase our mating on two titles, Guarding and Hunting. Since you are issuing the Challenge,” he pointed to the dead thing. “You are the Hunting.”

“Why’s it called a challenge?”

“Because he can either accept or reject it. If he gives it back it’s over, but if you don’t get it back you’ve begun courting. He’ll keep the knife and eat the prey if he accepts, then you can move on, but you can read about that later!”

“Cool, so I just walk up to him and go ‘here’s a corpse with a knife in it, can I fuck you’?”

The Galra laughed along with him. 

“No!” Thace barked. “Give me your hand.” Matthew obeyed only for the forest breed to slash at his palm with one of his claws.

“Ow! Why?!”

“Drop it on the knife, that way he’ll know you left it!”

“You could have told me that!” He was so nervous! He did as he was told and tried to hide his nerves as they approached his door.

“Put it in front of the door and knock,” Regris whispered with a grin. The human knew he was probably messing with him, but he didn’t know enough about galran mating rituals to dispute it. He put the thing down with the knife pointing up and knocked.

“So what no- HEY!” He Shouted after the two who were bolting around the corner.

“Come on!” One laughed, so he ran after.  
________

Lotor was disheartened. Only 39% of the empire was still loyal, and he could only get four flagships and their fleets to come to them. He sighed in frustration and flexed his claws. Sendak! He was about ready to growl at himself when he heard a knock at his door followed by footsteps and faint shouting. He grabbed his sword and ran to the door, sliding it open with his blade up, but no one was there. His eyes darted around looking for his tormentors, but then he looked down.

No.

No way.

Were his pills making him hallucinate?

Could that be real?

There was a dead skülgo with a knife planted in its body. Lotor prodded it with his sword to make sure that it was not a bomb, then picked it up cautiously. It’s real, hand hunted and everything. He grabbed the knife and sniffed it as oddly red blood stuck to his fingers. Matt! 

The emperor quickly brought it in and closed the door, then sat on the ground with his Challenge, holding it carefully. This doesn’t happen to him. It hadn’t happened to him in millennia. He was almost always the Hunting, and he was fine with it, but his heart fluttered at the thought of someone with such genuine adoration for him giving him the honor of being the Guarding. 

Alone in his dark room, he smiled, he laughed, a tear or two may have been shed. This human went through the trouble of learning his customs and hunting for him. He cared about him enough to, stars know how, locate and kill a daibazaalian delicacy animal. The emperor licked the knife clean and pocketed it, then sunk his teeth into his prey.

With every bite of exquisite raw meat and drip of orange blood, he accepted the challenge. He accepted being loved.


	19. Epigenetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith shows new traits, and Lotor takes on a new mate

Something was wrong, that’s all they knew. At panicked call over the ships commes of “guys there’s something happening to Keith!” Was all they heard. It didn’t take long for everyone to rush to the Med bay. Lotor was the last to arrive, preoccupied with wiping orange blood from his face. He joined the rest as they huddled closer to the pod Keith was in, and saw what had happened.

It was him, but unmistakably Galra. His ears were large and batlike and short fur like his mother’s covered his face. His feet had morphed from the short human five to the two Galra talons. By his legs a tail similar to Anton’s hung limp. 

“What happened?”

“Did he shapeshift?”

“Ulaz What’s going on?”

The medic’s hurried checking of the pod’s reports had slowed as he was assured of what he was seeing, then turned to inform the group.

“Nothing harmful has happened to him, I just didn’t expect this?”

“What do you mean? He has a fucking tail!” Lance yelled. Antok twitched his uncomfortably.

“It is very rare for this to happen,” the field breed confessed.

“Ulaz,” Shiro pleaded. “What is happening to him?”

“It’s a rare trait that very few hybrids have, it usually begins presenting itself at the beginning of their heat cycles. It is the “Galriko Dren,” Or “half galra changing.” An extremely rare ability to call on his galran phenotypes. This appears to have been spurred on by the pod’s healing combined with the beginning of his second puberty.”

Krolia put her hand on the glass.  
“The tail is recessive, otherwise he looks like me.”

“How do we fix him?” Lance asked.

“There’s nothing to fix. It is a useful, albeit unusual ability. He can return to his original appearance when he chooses, but for now it is best to leave him to heal.”

“And uh… second puberty?” Shiro inquired nervously.

“Yes. Galra will have two, the second will begin his heat cycle as well as grant him his roar. It won’t be long until he’s fully matured” 

“Fuuuuuck, I can’t deal with his puberty again” Lance, Pidge, and hunk erupted with laughter at hearing their leader curse while the others started to disperse. Matt noticed Lotor caste a quick glance at him, and quickly pulled up the Galra courtship guide on his date pad. He read as quickly as he could before the hybrid could walk towards him, skimming through Challenge instructions to see what came next and… oh. 

Once the challenge is accepted, the guarding will then initiate a duel with the knife given to them. In this duel the guarding must fight as hard as possible unarmed until the guarding draws and consumes blood.  
Oh shit oh fuck he’s coming over be cool.

The emperor was having similar anxious thoughts, it had been some time since he’d done this. He approached, concealing the knife up his sleeve, and addressed the human.

“I see you’ve become acquainted with galran courting rituals.”

“Yup!” He nervously put away the data pad. Lotor smiled nervously, here comes the part that sends most non Galra running.

“I… suppose you know what happens next?”

“I do.”

“Well then, I accept your challenge, now shall you prove your devotion?”

“I will,” Matthew crouched into a fighting position.

“Very well then. Love or Death!” With that Lotor slid out the knife and lunged. Matt hopped back and delivered a punch to his side. There were several choruses of “Whoa!” And “What?” And from the Galra in the room “Love or death! Woo!”. As Lotor stabbed and slashed hair breadths from the human as he ducked, weaved, and punched, Shiro rushed forward.

“Lotor what are you-!” He was intercepted by Kolivan who held him back with a single massive hand.

“It is not a true attack, they are simply beginning their relationship.”

“What?”

Lance piped up.

“Oh my god what?”

“Lotor has accepted the rebel’s challenge. I remember when I stabbed Antok, it took far less time than this.” His mate looked proud and pulled down the collar of his shirt to show a small scar.

Matt was backed against a healing pod with nowhere else to go, he punched the emperor in the chest as he slashed at his upper arm. The human let out a yelp and the battle had ended, completed by Lotor licking his oddly red blood off of the knife. He touched the cut.

“It’s not deep, and should heal clean.” He spoke with a smile. The loser sucked in a breath.

“Oof, yeah, did I do the ritual right?”

“Perfectly.” The Hybrid took his other arm and pressed their foreheads together.

“Okay, Okay,” Hunk rushed. “I get it, different cultures have different things but what the hell?! Why?!”

“It proves power, strength, and devotion!” Thace raved. “I don’t see how anyone doesn’t find that attractive.”

“No it’s attractive,” Lance agreed. “But a knife?!” Would he have to stab Keith? Was Keith going to stab him? Ulaz applied a small bandage to the cut before nodding to the new couple.

“I suppose you’ll be taking him back to your quarters?”

“Indeed.” 

“Holy shit! Are we? You know?” The hybrid grinned at his new mate

“Mating? It is the next step of the ritual, unless you’d prefer to put it off?”

“No! that sounds awesome!” He hadn’t really gotten laid since… damn, the garrison.

“Very well then, should we be off?”

“Yep!” The two set off smiling out of excitement, nervousness, or both, leaving the humans and alteans in the room baffled. It was completely quiet until Pidge broke out laughing hysterically.

“Hhholy shit!” A few other small laughs from the humans as well as Coran, Thace, and Regris, soon became raucous.

“Why are you laughing?” Allura asked. It took awhile for the green paladin to calm down enough to speak.

“My brother’s getting laid because he got stabbed!” 

“At the garrison he was always talking about fucking aliens-“ Shiro broke his sentence with a snort. “That bastard’s actually doing it!”

While the Paladins exchanged jokes about their resident alienfucker, some of the blades showed off courtship scars and reminisced of past and current lovers. Two very different species and very different cultures would make a very interesting pair.


	20. Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fuck do ya think?

Lotor led Matt into his room, far more disheveled than it normally was. Last he was here he had just eaten an animal raw, but at least he’d made the bed. He was more nervous about the event than he usually was, this time he wasn’t too afraid to hope for some love behind the action. While Matthew was nervous as well, he was far too excited to be shy. After years of declarations and questionable google searches he was doing it! He was going to fuck an alien!

“So how does it work for galra?” He started as he took off his jacket and tossed it to the floor.

“That all depends on how physically similar we are, we should get acquainted with each others biology first.” Lotor answers as he undid various latches of his armor, dropping the plates to the ground. This was exactly like so many of Matthews weird fantasies, though he never thought his xenophillia kink would be catered to this perfectly. He couldn’t wipe away his stupid grin and he took off his shoes, his shirt, and his pants.

Lotor watched in fascination, even from a purely biological standpoint the human was amazing. Rippling muscle under cream skin the color of Hhrovian skies, delicate fingers with flat and brittle claws. The hybrid had seen it all before, but knowing what was to follow made his pupils constrict with lust. 

This time it was Matt’s turn to watch. The emperor pulled down the zipper on the black undersuit, and the fabric seemed to fall off. As he pulled his arms from the sleeves, the human took mental notes. Slightly longer arms, no noticeable body hair, a stripe on each hip and thigh, four toes with curved talons, and wow… those fangs.

“Wow, you are… gorgeous.” He marveled. Lotor was still not used to frivolous compliments or being seen as beautiful, yet still it felt wonderful.

“I could say the same for you,” he growled with a smile. He took his mate’s uninjured arm and led him to the bed. The hybrid sat leaning back as the smaller male straddled his hips. They pressed their lips together in a fervent kiss. Matt draped an arm over his shoulder and shoved his other hand into his hair. He knew it was pretty but…

“Oh my god your hair is so soft” the brunette raved. His partner chuckled.

“You are a very interesting creature.” Lotor ran his hands down his sides, careful of the claws he couldn’t retract. He felt the muscle, the rise and fall of his chest with every breath, sparse fur, and oh yeah, the exposed genitals. But before they could even begin focusing on that, they simply focused on one another.

Kissing like this was certainly a new experience. Lips catching on the emperor’s fangs and the rough underside of his tongue. As the make out grew more heated, the brunette felt something wet touch his leg, he looked down.

“Woah!”

“Certainly different than yours” His cock had extracted from its sheath. A dark magenta in color and with four ridges on the top. The tip was about the width of two small fingers, but tapered down to a wider base. Matt touched the side of it to test it, it was smooth and covered in a natural lubricant.

“It seems our biology is extremely similar, so this should work well” the Galra figured, but his mate was already a step ahead of him. Matthew kissed his jaw, his neck, his chest, leaving a gentle trail down to his naval. Well, here it goes. He stroked his partner’s cock before opening his mouth to take it in, but he was stopped by a hand pulling him up by his hair. He looked up to see a tiny glint of fear in the galran’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’d prefer not to be bitten there”

“Oh I’m not biting you” the brunette smirked.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Oh uh, do galra not do oral?”

The hybrid looked intrigued.   
“Oral?”

“Yeah it’s-, trust be on this it’s worth it”

Trust certainly wasn’t the emperor’s strong suit after the past ten thousand years, especially not with his most sensitive organ exposed like this, but he could try. He nodded and put his hand back down, tensing as his partner took him into his mouth full of teeth. But he was almost immediately glad he did.

Matt traced the underside with his tongue, careful not to scrape it with his teeth, and took it further. It was bigger than either of his previous male partners, making him gag before getting used to it. Lotor keened at the sensation, one hand covering his eyes and another digging into the bed, possibly ripping the blanket with his freshly sharpened claws. With ears as far back as they would go, he grit his teeth and sucked in a breath as that smooth tongue teased one of the sensitive ridges. The taller male thought he’d been introduced to every sexual experience possible, it wasn’t often he learned something new these days. His partner pushed his heard further and took him into his throat.

Lotor gasped. His tongue. Stars his tongue. Not rough like a regular Galra but smooth like the surface of his, was that trait that he’d been so ashamed capable of causing such pleasures? The emperor drove claws into the mattress when the human teased the tip, he was close. Though Matthew’s jaw ached, he kept going seeing how the emperor squirmed on his back because of him. The alien cock twitched as he neared his climax. The taller male’s breaths were erratic, signifying his need for release, so the human obeyed. Matthew took his dick as far as he could and hummed. Lotor groaned as he came down his throat, 

The brunette sat back up in the bed and coughed into his hand. Pink. The alien caught his breath for a few seconds, then sat back up slightly and panted through a smile.

“It's not often a lover surprises me,” He panted. Matt smiled back as we wiped the pinkish cum on the blanket.

“So what’s next? Who tops?”

“I’m afraid I’m not familiar with the term ‘top’ in the way you’re using it”

“Like who fucks and who gets fucked?”

“Ah, you’re referring to penetration?” Not a very sexy way to put in, but correct.

“Yeah.”

“Normally it is the hunting who will be penetrated first, would you be alright with that?”

“Mhm, so how does this work? Do you have lube?”

“My natural slick should suffice.” Matt was reminded of the substance his partner produced. It occurred to him just how long it had been since he’d bottomed. It also occurred to him that Lotor was rather big, and since he couldn’t retract his claws when aroused, prep would be a problem. Nevertheless, the human straddle his hips again.

“I’ll start slow, just to get used to it alright?” He informed. the galra put his hands on the human’s hips and watched him. Matthew positioned himself so his weight was on his knees, and lined up Lotor’s cock to his entrance. He sat up, and began lowering himself onto it.

“Hhh-alri-ight” He gasped. The tip went in easy, it was no wider than a couple of fingers, but it got wider. As he slowly lowered himself down, the sting of the stretch got stronger. But the human grit his teeth and gasped as the first ridge slipped into him with a burn. He groaned at the pain and odd new sensation.

“It is… quite difficult, it is okay if you do not wish to go on” the emperor offered.

“No.. no… I just need a minute. Fuck why do you have ridges?” He panted.

“Pleasure mostly, but are you sure you wish to continue?”

“Yes! Hold on.” Matt spread his knees a bit wider and arched his back to hold onto his partner’s shoulders as he continued with a strained moan. The second ridge, then the third. He waited for a moment before sinking all the way down. His cock was already so deep, and was only getting wider. He took a deep breath and sunk the rest of the way down. The human groaned again as his partner growled in pleasure as he was engulfed into the tight heat.

“I knew humans were resilient, but I never expected this” he smiled. Matthew chuckled weakly as he squirmed slightly at the feeling of being so stretched, carefully testing what his body could handle.

“There is absolutely nothing that can stop me from fucking a sexy alien!” Lotor’s ears perked up a bit at the compliment and it took every ounce of strength not the buck up into his partner. But the human soon started at a slow pace, gasping and keening at the euphoric heat. His muscles relaxed more as they adjusted to the length, each ridge sending shockwaves through his body, soon coming across that one spot. He dropped his head and gasped at the sensation.

“Lotor…”

The emperor was no more composed, he moaned under him with half lidded eyes. He tried to be gentle, to swallow his primal instinct to bite overpower, but these urges got the better of him. He snarled and flipped Matt onto his back, and thrusted in roughly at that angle that had his partner falling apart. The human had one knee pushed to his chest, toes curling as he moaned into Lotor’s mouth, breaking away to catch his breath.

“Heh, that was fast”

“Do you expect anything else? You’ve been enchanting since I first met you. Now that you’ve beguiled me and charmed me into your bed, what else could you expect besides my full attention?” His devious smirk broke open with another wanton pant when the human tightened around him, making him drop to his elbows. Matt cursed under his breath as those damn ridges kept digging into his prostate, he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

Lotor instinctively opened his mouth and pressed his teeth to Matthew’s shoulder before catching himself. Not many species were okay with biting Galra. But before he could pull his head back, Matt pushes it back into his shoulder.

“Dont stop.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course” That was all the invitation he needed. He plunged his teeth into flushed flesh, eliciting a broken shout from the human. The hybrid was in a haze, taking out his teeth and licking the bite where his fangs had punctured the skin.

Red.

So red.

Matt moaned through gritted teeth as he felt heat pool in his belly.

“Lotor, fuck I’m close.”

“As am I,” the emperor growled. The thrusts grew uneven, quicker, ravenous. The base ridge pressed against Matt’s prostate again, sending him over the edge. He came with a whimper, pulling up his knees as Lotor continued to fuck him through it. White covered both of their abdomens as the Galra growled into a kiss, coming inside of him. The two stayed for a moment, catching their breath, before the hybrid pulled out and lay next to the human.

Even after that, Matt wasn’t so sedated as not to be amazed by Lotor’s biology as his cock retracted back into the sheath. 

“Are you alright?” The emperor asked tentatively. 

“I’m amazing! Holy shit can’t wait to do that again!” 

“Good to hear,” he relaxed. The Galra was finally able to retract his claws and dilate his pupils, coming out of his hazy aroused state. Now that he was back to his senses, he could take in everything, he noticed the cum on his stomach.

“White”

“Pink” the two chuckled, both new to one another.

“We should get cleaned up,” the emperor suggested.

“Good idea,” Matthew sighed. He rolled onto his side and made an attempt to get up, but his knees buckled. Lotor noticed and got up, then scooped up his mate bridal style.

“Hey! Woah!” 

“I’ll put you down in the bath,” the taller male grinned.

“Cool, cool, god you’re strong” The two exchanged small talk little sentiments on the way to the bathroom. It wasn’t often for Lotor to have sex with love behind it, but it was so much better than he remembered.


	21. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor knows it’s too good to be true

“You’re certain you’ll be fine?”

“Dude, I’m fine! I just need to lay down a bit. Just save Earth for me okay?” Matt smiled up from where he lay on his bed back in his own room. Lotor wanted him to be perfectly comfortable and cared for, gods know how rough sex with Galra could be. Though he had to meet with the others to finish planning earth’s defense, he hated to leave him.

“In that case I’ll return afterwards with dinner. Thank you for today, I look forward to continuing our courtship.” He opened the door to leave, and stepped through as his mate called out behind him.

“Course man! You’re awesome!” When the doors closed behind him, he risked a momentary smile before he continued onward. ‘Awesome,’ not something he’d remembered being called anytime recently. Come to think of it, he couldn’t recall the last time he could simply enjoy himself with someone without ulterior motives. It was nice.

Then again, that’s always how it started. It was nice when he first started dating when he was little more than seventeen. It was nice when he was with Ven’tar. It was even nice when he was with Allura. But ‘nice’ never lasted. Those first loves, now long dead, all eventually grew to realize his weakness. Allura used and abused him. Ven’tar was killed because of him.

Gods, Ven’tar. She was the first lover, perhaps the first person, he really loved who loved him back. She stayed with him when he took control of her world, when it was destroyed, when he was banished. But because of her loyalty she was killed. Since then there was nothing and no one who could compare. Even if there was, just like with her, it would be undercut with impermanence.

They’d be killed. Isn’t that what happens to all of them? Those not wise enough to abandon him are killed by those who have. Her, his old friends, even Narti when he had no choice. This was too good to be true.

Matt was too good to be true.

The emperor quickened his pace, he couldn’t think about this yet. But of course he had to, once the human was gone or dead.  
———————

“...and those we send ahead of us can contact this ‘garrison’ and alert them of our arrival.” Kolivan selected a planet close to Earth's solar system on the projection to indicate the location of a blade base.

“I agree that we should gather the blades in the area, but we can’t risk sending them ahead in case Sendak’s scouts beat them to it,” Shiro mentioned. “We should go all at once.”

“Very well then,” Allura agreed as she selected another planet. “We’ll rally here to complete the construction of the teleduv, the rebel forces, blades of marmora, and… galra.” 

There was a noticeable tension as she looked to Lotor, but he had been too caught up in his thoughts to notice. He simply stood and selected several locations on the projection.

“My forces are spread thin as my absence,” the Galra grit his teeth at the implications. “Has allowed Sendak to take over most of the empire. However I can spare six flagships as well as their battalions.” The ships came to life in the spots he’d indicated.

“Slav will arrive in about a day, one of Lotor’s flagships is bringing the teleduv pieces.” Pidge informed. The meeting was nothing out of the ordinary, but Lotor just couldn’t focus. He found himself caught in his mind. Matt was perfect. Interested in his culture, protective, just kind. It couldn’t last. But there was that one, childish part of him, that begged himself to be hopeful. He silenced it as he always did with memories of his old mates leaving and of Ven’tar’s death.

His father had her killed for her loyalty to him. Lotor couldn’t stop his eyes from bolting open when it dawned on him. Zarkon is dead, he can’t touch him anymore.

But why did it still feel like claws in his neck every time he thought about him? All the things his father punished him for; heats, purring, sickness, love. It was all poisoned by beating and humiliation. He wanted to be comforted, but the thought of being vulnerable made his stomach churn. It was as if everyone was just waiting for his powerful facade to slip so they could kill him with his weakness. He wasn’t good enough for his father, he wasn’t good enough for his people, he won’t be good enough for Matt.

When the meeting adjourned he wasted no time slipping out of the room. Lotor walked as he checked and rechecked his data pad. Everything was as planned. He checked again. As planned.

Again. Again. AGAIN.

There had to be something wrong, why else was he feeling like this?

Who was attacking him?

Who did he have to kill to feel safe? He shut his eyes to keep the burn of tears at bay until the feeling shrank back. He decided to dig through the data pad for anything wrong. Something was wrong.  
Trackers. Normal.   
Functions. Normal.  
No unknown life forms detected.  
No viruses detected.

Something had to be wrong, he felt wrong. He checked again. Recent activity. Normal. Wait… The camera had been opened recently. He didn’t do that. Claws clinked on the surface and his aimless walking growing slower as he selected the camera recordings, there was an icon of him sleeping. His blood ran cold. Was this some sick message? He played it.

Lotor was on his belly in the sleep pile, he could hear purrs. The person taking the video giggled, Matt. He knew it! Too good to be true! What were his goals? His motives? Was he documenting him for Sendak?

“Pidge, he’s purring! This is so cute he’s completely out!” Matt got in close to his face and poked his cheek. Sleeping Lotor didn’t move. The human giggled again and grabbed his lip, moving it up.

“Look at those fangs! This dude is a cat, a tall sexy elf cat.” He giggled again. It wasn’t threatening, but endearing.

When the video cut off, he found himself standing still and rigid in the middle of a hallway. It wasn’t a message, it was a mistake, the human simply forgot which data pad was his when he wanted to film him. It was sweet.

But purring? It was one of those things so poisoned by his father that the very thought made him sick. It was something he was supposed to be able to do, something all Galra had to calm themselves, but he couldn’t. Whenever he doubled down in privacy to try it didn’t sound right, it was forced. But in his sleep in safety it seemed to come back for just a moment. 

Shamefully, instinctively, and immediately regrettably, he tried to purr. It came out fractured and choking chuff. He swallowed and looked around to make sure he wasn’t seen, and hurried off somewhere, anywhere else.  
_____________

Somewhere else happened to be the infirmary. Lotor stood with his data pad, watching and rewatching the video. Matt was so sweet, so kind. He didn’t deserve him. A hiss broke his attention. The healing pod that contained Keith was opening, and the Galra slumped down. The emperor raced over to him, but flinched. Last he’d been in a pod, Allura had purposely drugged him simply to cause him pain. This place was wrong. He scooped up the boy and placed him on the floor away from the pods.

“Lance?..” Keith’s eyes opened to show bright yellow scleras with the same purple pupils.

“Oh, Lotor.” The Red paladin felt strange. He lifted a hand and looked at it, then scrambled to his feet. 

“What the fuck?!” He stared at the now furred and purple hand, claws extracting in his panic. He tripped over his tail and fell back, panicked eyes looking over his alien body.

“Keith, it’s alright. You are currently displaying galran phenotypes, But your medic can teach you how to reverse it.” Lotor sat on the floor with him as he was frozen, staring in shock at purple fur. The emperor explained what had happened and what it meant for him. Odd how he felt the need to assuage this boy’s fears before his own. 

“Well what’s it like, what should I expect?” 

“What do you mean?”

“On earth, I thought I was all human. I never knew that I was half galra. I’d do these things like scratching tables and purring but, well, my foster parents made me stop…” Lotor saw the memories and fear in Keith’s demeanor, he knew what it meant. The violence his home gave him.

“My father did the same to me.”

“That’s… I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sorry for you, no child should have to endure such pain.”

“I just- I didn’t know what I was missing! Like the chirping, no one knew what it meant, so no one ever responded.” The chirping, that instinct Galra kittens had to chirp for their parents that would have had any galra who could hear it running to help. Humans didn’t know that it meant distress did they?

“No one responded to mine either.”

The two were comfortably quiet for a minute. What a horrible thing for them to connect over. Stricken children to stunted leaders. But Lotor risked a terrible, terrible, moment of weakness.

“I don’t know how to purr.” The emperor admitted. “My father punished me for doing it, so I stopped.”

“My foster parents did that too, I don’t know if I can still do it.” Vindication for them both. The half altean panicked silently, almost ready to cry from relief at just being heard. He waited for pain, any sort of divine punishment for his weakness but it didn’t come. He jumped in place when Keith began laughing, little tears in his eyes.

“Why are you laughing?” He was laughing at him, he had to be.

The red paladin needed a moment to collect himself.  
“I almost killed you, and we’re the same! I’m so sorry!” He lapsed back into laughing, and even Lotor chuckled a bit. Anything besides tears were welcome.

“What the fuck do I do?” Keith asked. “How can I just be Galra?”

“You can’t”

“You’re half Galra too, aren’t you used to dealing with the ones who hate you for it?”

“Yes”

“Does it get easier?”

The emperor smiled softly.  
“It never does.” 

They paused again.

“I’m sorry,” Keith lamented.

“Don’t be.”

“This shouldn’t bother me.”

“Of course it should.”

“It’s just, it feels better to have someone who understands.”

“It does…” Lotor was deeply afraid of the familial connection he felt, but it was still there. Another subject!

“You thought I was Lance when you awoke, is he your mate?”

“I wish.” He wagged his tail for a moment. “I mean he’s amazing but he can do better.”

“Stars is this what Matt and I were like?”

“What?”

“It’s clear to me at least that the two of you are smitten.” At that the half human’s new ears perked up.

“Cool I guess. But now I’m… this.”

“He’s already seen you in the pod, and was no less infatuated.”

“Oh, well that’s cool.” Idle talk was the luckiest thing either could have hoped for. It was stupid, high school gossip of crushes and goings on. As well as admissions of past suffering that neither would have known the other to have suffered as well. They were both less alone when they parted, Keith back to his mother and Lotor to the kitchen to get his mate dinner like he promised.  
———————

“Matt, how are you?” Lotor came into the room with a tray of some fish dish of Hunk’s creation for them to share.

“I’m good, oh nice!” Matthew put down the data pad he was going over and took a piece of the fish. The emperor smiled at his mate, who was still naked, and sat with him. It was pleasant sharing food and plans, it was pleasant falling asleep with him too. 

Even as the human held onto him as they well asleep running his fingers through the white hair, his mind raced with the same ever unhappy thoughts.

It’s too good to be true It’s too good to be true It’s too good to be true It’s too good to be true 

And yet it was true


	22. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor gets the love he wanted but doesn’t know how to accept it

For the last week, things had been going relatively well. The Galra ships had arrived on Lotor’s command, the Teleduv was under construction, and Matt couldn’t be happier. He was going to see his father soon. And his mother. His friends, earth, everyone. He was with his sister so he had someone to share his findings with. Best of all, he had a boyfriend, a tall, sexy, alien boyfriend!

In the week since the knife fight and first night together, they had gotten more acquainted. A sparring match here, a dinner there, mostly just spending time together between assignments and tasks. Matt gushed to anyone who would listen, right now that poor bastard was Pidge.

“Bro, I get it, you’re into him,” she quipped dryly as she input code for the teleduv on the computer next to his.

“Of course I am! Come on, have you seen him?”

“I’ve seen him, I’ve also seen your search history so it makes sense.”

“Hey! If you didn’t want to see it then you shouldn’t have gone on my incognito tabs!”

she huffed with a sarcastic grin.  
“Well besides your alien kink, what’s he got going on?”

“Well he likes raw meat, and can kick my ass which is cool, and he likes memes!”

“Memes?”

“Yeah, I showed him a bunch. I’ll get him to t-pose if it’s the last thing I do!” The siblings chuckled quietly at their station, but after the quiet that follows, brought up a concern.

“How’s he doing?”

“Okay I guess.”

“You guess?” The green paladin turned to him, Matt paused at his work with concern painted on his face.

“I’m not sure. He acts like he’s fine most of the time, but he’s so flinchy. Or when he wakes up sometimes he just looks terrified.” Matthew puts his back against the wall and slides down to sit for a break. “I don’t know how to help him.”

Pidge wanted to keep teasing her brother, but this was serious, so she joined him on the floor.  
“I think you being there helps. He’s still getting over almost dying in the rift and killing his dad and being abused.”

“Oh fuck, I forgot about Allura.” He noticed how Lotor was always apprehensive around him, was that it?  
“I think he’s still nervous about me, like he thinks I’ll do that too. Should I talk to him about that?”

“Probably, I mean, trauma dies hard.”

“I just love him man, I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

“You’re really serious about Lotor aren’t you?” Unbeknownst to them, the male in question was nearby. It was Lotor’s business to oversee the project, but the mention of his name drew his attention. No one would blame him for hiding around the corner to listen in to what Matt said.

“Hell yeah dude. He could be the one, and I want this to go well. But I’m still so worried about him, I don’t want him to be afraid of me or to have nightmares like that. I just wish I could fix it.”

The galra wasn’t sure what to feel, on the one hand, his mate has seen his weakness. On the other, he seems genuinely in love and wanting to help him. As the siblings continued, he slipped back to his route watching over the project, but his mind lingered.

That part of him, that stupid, childish part of him, wouldn’t shut up. What if he could be honest? What if he could break down and let his mate see what haunted him? Idiotic. But still he craved something, perhaps not that exactly, but something like it. His logical mind hated himself for it, but it met the emotional part halfway.

He would meet himself halfway. He would test the waters if Matt brings it up. He’ll be careful this time, he’ll be careful when it eventually happens.

Eventually came sooner than he thought. A message pinged on his data pad. Matt.  
“Hey, could we meet in one of our rooms tonight? Nothing’s wrong, I just want to talk to you.”

The emperor grit his teeth, he wasn’t ready. The pang of unease reminded him of his physical pain, most of which had subsided but could still be kept at bay. He took his pill box out and took one before responding.

“Of course, I will return to my room when I am finished, I look forward to seeing you”

“Sweet, I’ll see you there”

He clutched the thin machine hard for a moment, then went on to his work. He wasn’t paying much attention though, this was going to be a rough night.  
——————————

Lotor sat on his bed, he had cleaned and recleaned the room to be sure that it was presentable, and had nothing left to do. Any minute now the human would arrive to expose his weaknesses. He growled at himself, this was a stupid idea. He was going to lose him, he was going to lose another mate with his idiotic vulnerabilities wasn’t he?

The door slid open and his mate walked in. He was in a grey T-shirt and boxers, a towel draped over his shoulders having just showered. The boy gave him a bittersweet smile.

“Hey Lo, how are you?”

“I’m fine, what was it you wished to discuss?”

“Damn right into business.” The boy sat down on the bed next to him and took a breath, he had to do it.  
“Honestly, I’m a bit worried about you.”

“There is no need to worry.”

“There is,” his tone shifted to more worry, Lotor continued to look straight ahead but allowed the human to take one of his hands.  
“I’ve noticed how you flinch whenever I touch you, and your nightmares, and how you’re just overall closed up. I know that things were bad, with her.” The galra tensed at the mention of Allura.

“Yeah, like that. And uh, I don’t want you to have to be alone in this, so… are you able to talk about it?”

“It isn’t a matter of ability, but why are you intent on knowing?”

“It’s hard going through this alone, and I want to make sure I do this right.”

That’s an acceptable answer, Lotor didn’t face him, but decided to cede some information.

“What do you wish to know?”

“I’m sorry for prying into this, and it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but I want you to know that it’s okay to talk about it, I won’t judge you. I just want to be here for you.”

He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t expose his weakness. He couldn’t expose his miscalculations. This was wrong, this was pointless. He knew he shouldn’t speak. But the childish yearning to be heard took over.

“I put my trust in her because she was altean, I made the mistake of deluding myself into believing that she would be more kind than she’d shown me.” Lotor sighed, he wanted to stop, he wanted to stop talking.  
“I should have known that she wouldn’t reciprocate my devotion, she only so much as allowed me out of that cell when she learned I was half altean. That was all she cared about. But I was too Galra. Not galra enough for my father but too galra for her.” He barely noticed how Matt gently squeezed his hand as his mind tore at him as he couldn’t stop talking.  
“She hated me for it, she still hates me for it. She sees my father in me and that’s all she ever saw.” The human leaned into him, giving comforting weight.

“You aren’t anything like your father,” Matt offered. Such a simple phrase, and the emperor broke. He covered his face with his free hand, holding his breath for a second before coughing it out and turning on the human with mild anger masking his pain.

“What is it you’re doing?!”

Matthew knew his boyfriend wouldn’t hurt him, he understood the defensiveness that he felt.  
“Hey, hey,” he wrapped his arms around his stiff shoulders, Lotor’s arms hovered over his back with claws fully extended, unsure what was happening.  
“Hey. I mean it. You’re a good person, I’m so sorry you had to suffer like that, I’m sorry that no one saved you.”

“Don’t do this!” the emperor growled, his voice cracked. “Don’t do this...” Allura, his father, everything flooded to the forefront of his mind now that the floodgates were open. He feared rejection, but he feared acceptance more. Acceptance means being known. He would have no choice but vulnerability.

“Lotor. Lotor you can tell me. I’m not going to be mad. You’ve done nothing wrong. I love you.” I love you. Stars, bloods, gods dead and rotten why did he have to say that? The Galra broke, putting his head on the human’s shoulder and hugging him back. A growling sob ripped from his throat, and plenty more followed.

It was like that for a few minutes, Lotor weeping openly and Matt trying not to cry as well at the sheer anguish his boyfriend had been carrying. It was over. His facade of practiced poise was shattered in a torrent of tears, showing the ugly amalgamation of scars and bruises underneath. For awhile they just held each other.

And then Lotor told him everything.

The mother that died just to damn him to his life. The father that abused him and isolated him just to induce the violence response since he was too young to walk. The prenatal quintessence exposure that damned him to outliving the few acquaintances that he cared for. The witch who had subjected him to tests and surgery after surgery for pointless vanity projects. The society that hurt and berated him for his blood and body. The body itself that had been starved, whipped, and beaten for the crime of wanting to be loved. The death of Ven’tar. The betrayal Of his generals. The abuses Allura committed. 

By the end both were crying, Matt overcome with sorrow at the extent of Lotor’s hardships, and Lotor at the memories and knowledge that now he’ll leave him too. Yet the human clutched him tighter and whispered between shaky breaths.

“I don’t want you to have to go through this alone anymore. You really didn’t deserve any of that. You’re so good and I’m so sorry for what the world did to you. I love you.”

Lotor didn’t respond for a long time while emotions battled in his head. Rage and hatred at himself mostly. Every time he did this he was beaten or threatened or left behind, the other part was overcome with relief. He drooped out of the hug and sat hunched, avoiding Matt’s eyes. He didn’t know what to do or what to want. It would be so much easier if his mate just hit him, he almost wanted him to so they could just go back to normal. He wanted to be beaten, to be punished for making himself weak but he wasn’t doing it. Instead he had to writhe under the sincerity and kindness he craved but couldn’t understand. 

Matthew didn’t know what to do either, but he thought he should at least try to make him comfortable.

“Can I take off your armor?” 

“Alright.” This was it right? He was going to hurt him, or humiliate him, do something, anything to make him repent. But the motions were so horribly gentle. Plates undone carefully and soft touches tried to reassure him, but every cell in the prince’s body shouted that this was a trap. He swallowed his sobs and readied himself as the undersuit was unzipped and pulled down to be dropped on the floor, leaving him exposed.

Lotor kneeled on the bed hunched over, his back to Matt displaying the whip scars he’d gotten just before his father exiled him. He waited for more. The human touched his back carefully and traced the longest scar, the emperor couldn’t bear the incessant teasing.

“Do it…”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Hurt me!” He barked staring down at his shaking hands.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You will, get it over with!”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

The Galran grit his teeth, still staring, wishing he could reach the painkillers in his pocket but was too afraid to move.

“Just get it over with.” He flinched hard at the touch on his back, ready and expecting pain, but it was still so terribly kind. 

“I’m so, so sorry for what you’ve been through. But you don’t need to prove anything to me, I just want you to feel better.”

“... I’ve told you too much. I can’t fix this.” 

“I’m glad you told me, I’m glad that I know what’s going on. I’m not ever going to hurt you, I want to help you in any way I can. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Then what do I do?”

“Try laying down,” the blonde half smiled. Lotor obeyed, positioning himself uneasily on his side facing his mate but looking down. The human faces him in his side as well and took one of his hands. He pressed his thumb into the palm and fingers, massaging it to get his claws to retract. Slowly he found the spots that helped bring them in, then he moved on to the other one. As he worked he spoke softly.

“I know this is hard for you, I’m very proud of you for sharing it with me.” The claws sank back in halfway, he kept going.  
“I don’t think you’re weak, right now you’re just hurt and now that I know how I can help you heal. We can work things out, I’ll make sure I learn how to help with things and when it gets bad, will you come to me?”

“...I will.”

“And you’re not just saying that because you’re afraid I’ll hurt you? Because I won’t.”

“I’m not.”

“I love you.”

“...I love you too.” In a bold move, Lotor took his hand back to put his arm over his partner’s side, to such he responded by pulling the alien so he was against his chest.

“Thank you for trusting me.”

“Thank you for listening.”

“I always will.” They we’re both so tired, and Matt drifted off easily. Lotor was left uneasily awake for a long time, unwilling to move. He slept eventually after he’d played and replayed the night in his head. All of his experience told him it was a trap, but logically he could no longer puzzle out how. He wanted this to be real. He needed this to be real.


	23. Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor feels so much more loved, and he plans to use it

Of all the nights for his dreams to be kind, why did it have to be tonight? Why did he have to dream of peaceful red skies and wandering plains? Why after everything he did last night did he wake peacefully with some semblance of safety? 

This didn’t happen, not to him. This never happened. And yet he woke at his own pace in a dark room, in a warm bed, with a loving mate clinging to his arm in his sleep. He wasn’t used to feeling safe. His instinct to get to work to flee ever present watching eyes made his muscles ache, but he didn’t want to wake Matt.

He knew everything now. He knew everything that Lotor had been tortured by, and yet he was still here. The galra wanted to resolve this feeling in his stomach. His body held centuries of habits that he couldn’t say he wanted. His flesh knew that something was coming, be it claws, electricity, a whip, something that would punish him for what he’d done. But since it didn’t come, he simply grew more restless. 

He was broken from his unease by a gentle kiss on his shoulder, he looked to see Matt leaving several little pecks on him with his eyes still closed.

“Mornin’ Lo”

“I see you’re not quite awake”

“How are you holding up bud? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine”

“Are you really?”

“I am” The emperor almost squirmed under that feeling, that feeling of fineness. “It’s strange”

“It’s good” the human continued kissing his shoulder and up to his neck, putting one arm around his neck for leverage. Unexpectedly, the galra pulled him on top of himself to kiss him. That seemed to wake up his mate, who moved to his throat, to his cheek, then to his mouth. The emperor slid a hand up his mate’s back under his shirt, which seemed to remind him that he was the only one wearing clothes.

“Wait wait, are you sure?” Matt broke the kiss for a moment.

“Do you not wish to?”

“No I do! I just wanna make sure I’m not misreading this”

The galra smiled with a sigh.  
“Matt, I want you” 

This made the human grin with excitement before going back for another passionate kiss. This is their third time, according to the courtship rules, he would top, and Lotor seemed to agree. Whether it was tradition, or love, or the comfort of trust, Lotor seemed almost relaxed. Pulling the human’s shirt over his head, admiring his muscles, bringing his knees up to better position himself under his mate.

It didn’t take long for Matthew to weasel out of his boxers, nor did it take long for Lotor to remember that act from their first night. There was no harm in trying. Much to the human’s surprise, he broke the kiss and brought his head down to his cock.

“Wh-oh” the boy didn’t have any time to question what his boyfriend thought he was doing before a tongue ran up His length. It was clear by the way Galra uneasily lapped at the shaft and took the head into his mouth that he had never done this before.

“Careful! Your fangs!” The blonde whined.

“Of course” he quickly returned to his endeavor. The hand in his hair was unexpected, but welcome as it guided him up and down slowly and carefully so as not to choke him. It took him some time to get the rhythm and stop forcing his head down to the point of gagging. It was weird, but being under control in an act so intimate and so deviant was simply heavenly. He only stopped when his boyfriend pulled his head up.

He came up with a gasp, panting to make up for interrupted breathing, looking into Matthew’s eyes.

“Am I doing wrong?”

“No, you’re amazing,” the human smiled.  
“But if you keep going I’m gonna cum before I can fuck you.”

“Ah, then shall we get on with it?” He grinned back.

“Babe stop reading my mind” In moments Lotor, who was already entranced from the heat and arousal, got to his hands and knees and braced himself for his mate. But rather than penetrating him quickly as Galra tend to do, he carefully positioned himself behind him only to stroke his unsheathed cock. The emperor didn’t question it, humans seemed to have many unusual sex practices, but he flinched instinctively when the hand was drawn back only to prod at his entrance.

“You okay?”

“What is it that you’re doing?”

“Oh yeah you don’t- well humans don’t have natural lubricant so I’m using some of yours, and since my dick isn’t tapered I need to loosen you up first.”

Suspicious, Lotor took his slippery hand and examined it, rechecking for any sharp claws or barbs. Once satisfied that it wouldn’t stab him, he let it go and turned back around.

“Alright then, you may proceed” The larger male wasn’t fully prepared for the first finger, it was foreign to be prodded with such a thing and he had to admit, it has been awhile. About two year ago he had allowed Narti, female Galra being hermaphroditic, to fuck Him through his heat. Since then no one had been inside him, and he expected it to hurt, especially with the human’s unusually blunt organ. 

His breath hitched as a second digit was added, scissoring him open and adding stretch. The third was when it started to notably hurt, but it was nothing compared to the usual practice of starting hard and fast regardless of discomfort. Eventually his back was arched up, and his arms locked straight as the slow buildup teased him. When Matt took the fingers out he positioned himself on his knees behind him, hands almost ivory against lavender hips.

The question of permission was unspoken, and Lotor granted it with a hand over his mate’s. Matthew pushed in, eliciting a gasp from the galra and forcing him to bring his hand back down to the bed to support himself.

The intrusion was immediate and rough, Galra could be quite big but at least with them it was gradual. Admittedly he often found himself in more pain than he wanted with others of the same species, and he thanked the old gods that his partner was a comfortable size, but Stars, why did it have to be so blunt?

His claws dug into the bed and his back arched downward, but the intrusion slowed and a comforting hand ghosted over his chest.

“You’re doing great darlin’, does it hurt too much?”

“Not at all,” he was betrayed by his strained voice, but he wouldn’t stop this due to something as simple as pain. He was Galra, he was the emperor, this was not gunshots on a battlefield but love in a bedchamber. The human could tell that it was hard on his boyfriend, but he could see how hard he was trying.

“Cool, But you’ll tell me if you need me to slow down alright?”

“Matt, If you don’t fuck me I swear to ~ahh” his empty threat broke into a weak moan as Matthew did exactly what he was told. Bucking into Lotor, he sighed in pleasure. Lotor himself was flushed panting, as his body rocked with each thrust he let out choked keens a small gasps.

Despite the human’s lack of ridges and natural lubricant, it hit the right spot perfectly. 

“Hnn, ha- Matt” was all he could whine, he always forgot how good it felt to be fucked like this. It had been so long since he could say he’s trusted anyone enough to be vulnerable in bed, let alone had someone he loved. But as slick dripped down his thighs and kisses covered his back as far up as his mate could reach, he found himself in unparalleled bliss. 

His body was already heavy when Matt’s hand wrapped around his cock, and that was all it took to bring him to the brink. The human was close as well. This beautiful body under him and making those pretty little mewls enthralled him. He thrusted in rough and hard, finishing inside Lotor. His boyfriend didn’t last long after, cumming on his hand as he squirmed feebly and made a final shuddering moan.

They stayed for a moment catching their breath before Matt pulled out and flopped down on the bed, his mate following suit, resting before cleaning himself up. Legs still tangled together they kissed lazily in the afterglow, when their lips came apart, the human ran fingers through Lotor’s hair as the taller male gathered himself and retracted his claws.

“Not bad, human,” he teased. They’d certainly have to do this again, and soon.


	24. Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran doesn’t know what to believe

It was quiet that morning, everyone off doing one thing or another. Coran was going to bring some reports to lotor, but hearing lascivious sounds from his room decided against it. So he roamed.

He found himself roaming aimlessly often, ever since learning what Allura had done. Normally he’d have much to do, tending to her whims and obeying her commands. She was his princess, she was like a daughter, but now she was an abuser as well. 

He stepped through halls with no real destination. He should’ve known this would happen shouldn’t he? He was by Alfor’s side for centuries. He was a noble and loyal to the crown, he worshipped it. That worship made him tear his gaze from the king’s injustices. From the stolen resources, the far too young draftees, the self righteous words of altean supremacy spoken behind closed doors where the Paladins of old couldn’t hear him, and voltron. Voltron that was so romanticized in the victors history that it was forgotten that it was initially a tool to quash the people’s rebellion 

He helped to raise Allura, he kept her away from the low born people who could tell her how their food and healthy brothers and sisters were taken for needless wars. He himself should have told her. But he was blinded by his devotion, and let it poison the girl. She was allowed to believe that she deserved power, that the circumstances of her birth and the filtered information she’d been fed made her the all knowing authority. That narcissistic entitlement of control over the lives of others turned her into a woman who would torture even her most loving devotee.

Had coran’s skin been furred and purple, she would’ve killed him by now wouldn’t she?

Step after step to no destination, he slipped away from alfor’s supposed truth. After allowing these wars and silencing and warping their history, was he not at least somewhat to blame for this? He brushed against the wall, dragging him halfway out of his thoughts to see that he had reached the Med bay. Since he was there he would again fulfill his role as an aid to the others. By now perhaps that is all he can do.

He was used to wiping his face clean of unease when attending royal conferences to discuss anything from colonies to genocides in the name of “knowledge”, but things have changed. This was no longer a monument to a king but his tomb which even now was walked by the ghosts of his countless victims. He did not wipe his face clean when he walked inside.

There weren’t many people. Some odd soldiers and rebels injured in construction or with chronic problems, Ulaz tending to medical records, and Two Paladins. His gaze was drawn to them sitting together against a wall, staring at a small rectangular tablet and talking quietly about its contents. Keith’s face was the same purple as his mother’s, his ears now bat like and his pupils unseen. Lance leans against him, he giggles when Keith’s new claws clack against the human device.

They’re courting now aren’t they? When was the last time he’d loved someone like that? On altea with that alchemist woman? Or perhaps on diabazaal with that pair of soldiers? It was hard to tell as they loved so differently, the Altean with cold convention and the Galra with physical presence and joyful embraces. Is that what he gave up by devoting himself to Alfor?

“Endearing isn’t it?” The altean jolted when he heard the voice so close, he turned around and calmed when he saw it was just Ulaz regarding him.

“Ah, yes! A pretty pair as close as Columagers!”

“Not unusual for what I’ve observed from humans is they find extraterrestrial traits appealing, same as the Galra really.”

“A lot of people are the same, perhaps the universe would be a better place is we all knew it”

The Galra sat down.

“Another sarcastic Altean jab at the emperor none of us supported?”

“No! Not at all! Well… that’s the problem isn’t it? Alteans thinking they’re better…”

“Your princess” he did not look up from his data pad. Coran was grateful that he pointed out the yulback in the room rather than let it suffocate them.

“She should’ve been taught better. I should have taught her that that… hateful thought is wrong”

“You think it’s hate?”

“I can’t imagine anything else could tarnish a soul like that”

The Galra finally set the pad down  
“Are you familiar with the concept of Geltra Zera?”

“I’ve heard conflicting bits and pieces” he sat down in the empty chair next to him

“The Galra of old believed that loyalty, generosity, and love were all one thing. That it flowed through everyone and grew like plants in their souls to give them bountiful harvests with which to share with others”

Coran listened carefully. On Altea the books about galran culture would frame this belief as barbaric, but from a real Galra it sounded as beautiful as it should.

“When the soil of their body and soul was well tended then this thing would grow like vines to connect souls to one another for eternity. That this would keep them tethered through death so they may be reborn as family and lovers. That the greatest way a war could be won was to tether yourself to your enemy by Geltra so that you would promise an eternity to apologize for the lack of Geltra they had for them before.”

“So was the lack of Geltra the result of hate?”

“Hate is a lack. While the theory of Geltra can not be proven nor disproven, it is true that hatred is borne of a vacuum of loyalty, of love. Sometimes people will poison the soils of their souls with lies and distrust until even the healthiest vines of loving people will wither and spread blight to themselves in the attempt of a connection”

“Can these people ever be helped?”

“The loving or the hateful?”

“Either. If the loving are so often hurt by reaching out and the hateful give no warning that they will blight them, how… what makes it better?”

Ulaz sets the pad down carefully, collecting his thoughts.

“There is never a warning, yes, those unwilling to love will not warn the loving. Sometimes they even seek out love, wishing for someone to tend to their souls and pay them back by poisoning theirs. Their victims can only be hurt, and that hurt will cut their vines, but then there will always be others who will love them and tend to them until their crops are healthy again, even if they may always carry evidence of the blight.”

“But what about the hateful ones?”

“I’m afraid there’s not much to be done for them. We can not fix them, they must fix themselves. Without the Geltra to form meaningful connections, she will continue hurting people.”

Coran sighed

“So you know who I’m worried about?”

“Everyone is worried. Word has spread about her crimes.”

“Is there nothing I can do to fix her?”

“It’s out of our hands now. But you seem to have plenty of Geltra of your own, why wither your crop on her poisoned earth?”

“Because She…. Alfor… I have too. It’s the altean way”

A long a clawed Hand touched his

“I’d doesn’t have to be. You are no longer bound by him.” The Galra paused   
“When zarkon went into the rift, he lost his Geltra. He was dead the moment that happened. Most mentions of the philosophy were destroyed to keep our people from realizing that his soil was poisoning us all, but those were able to find old texts and mentions could heal. Maybe the alteans had something like it before the monarchy took over and destroyed all mention of is so the people would not know what they were being robbed of”

“That could be the case”

They simply sat for a moment, looking out over the people in the Med bay. Some Galra and an injured balmeran were playing a game on a data pad. A pair of rebels talked casually, and of course, Keith and lance.

“Do you think they make a good couple?” The Altean asked.

“I think so,” the Galra replied. “It’s as if vines have grown between them already”

“Do you think they’ll be alright? That they’ll survive all this?”

“We can’t know, but they look happy”

coran turned his hand over under Ulaz’s to hold it gently

“Well, they’re a young species” Coran mused. “Maybe they understand something like Geltra Zera better than us.”

“Maybe. Maybe it isn’t real and I’m wrong. But they look happy with eachother”

“Is that enough?”

“I think so”

They sat. And they watched. And the world felt less wicked


End file.
